Funny Quotes
Add
This
To
Your
Website
Home >  TV Quotes >  Family Guy Quotes >  Peter Griffin Quotes
Home TV Quotes 30 Rock American Dad An Idiot Abroad Archer Arrested Development Beavis and Butthead Chuck Eastbound and Down Extras Family Guy Friends Futurama Grey's Anatomy I'm Alan Partridge Misfits My Name is Earl Psych Scrubs Sex and the City South Park The Big Bang Theory The Cleveland Show The Inbetweeners The IT Crowd The Mighty Boosh The Office (UK) The Office (US) The Ricky Gervais Show The Royle Family The Simpsons The Trip Movie Quotes Actor⁄Actress Quotes SMF Members New My Page New Contact Us Webmasters
Add this to your Website

Peter Griffin Quotes

Buy at Buy at Amazon.com  or  Buy at Amazon.co.uk
 Login to Write a Review for Peter. Note: Do not add quotes here, there is a form at the bottom of the page for quotes..
Divider
Brian Brian Open QuotePeter you can't put kerosene in an energy drink it'll kill you!Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteBrian, whatever kills me makes me stronger.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 9 - New Kidney in Town
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteMilk, milk, lemonade round the corner fudge is made.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Lorna Palin
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteI may be an idiot , but there is one thing I am not, and that sir is an idiot.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 2 - Fifteen Minutes of Shame
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteLois, men aren't fat, only fat women are fat.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Michael Saddler - Season 4 - Sibling Rivalry
 
Meg Meg Open QuoteHi dad I'm your daughter, Meg.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteDoh!Close Quote
Lois Lois Open QuoteNo Peter, that's not your catchphrase.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Canoe Guy Open QuoteStroke...stroke...stroke!Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteStop mocking me!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 6 - McStroke
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteDo you like this side boob? Well you shouldnt because it's my side boob.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 4 - PTV
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteKerosene is fuel. Red Bull is fuel. Kerosene is Red Bull.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Juan Gaviria
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteHey Dryfus, where you going? Get back here, what are you doing here in Quahog?Close Quote
Richard Dryfus Open QuoteMy nephews in the play, god can't you go anywhere these days without these damn paparazzi! Ugh.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteHey where you going? Oh, You going to the bathroom? You gonna have a close encounter of the turd kind? Ha ha ha I think you're gonna need a bigger boat.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Michael Saddler - Season 8 - Peter-assment
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteKick, Joe, kick!Close Quote
Lois Lois Open QuotePeter, he's a paraplegic.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteThat doesn't mean he can't hear.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteLois I have lost intrest in you. Chris, be your mother.Close Quote
Chris Chris Open QuoteOh, Peter, your muscles are so big.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteI am going to plough you tonight.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Lois Lois Open QuoteJust tell us, is peter okay?Close Quote
Dr Hartman Dr Hartman Open QuoteOh he's fine, he's just fat.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteAhh... Well, this is news to me.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteA boat is a boat, but a box can be anything, hell it could even be a boat.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Stewie Stewie Open QuoteVictory shall be mine!Close Quote
Meg Meg Open QuoteYeah like that will ever happen.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteShut up meg your so annoying.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 2 - Da Boom
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteI like history I learn alot about Rudolf Hitlor.Close Quote
Meg Meg Open QuoteHe's called Adolph Hitler.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteShut up Meg!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Jimbob Wozere
 
Meg Meg Open QuoteDad! Mr Herbert called me thunder thighs!Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteUgh... He did it, what a legend.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Sophie Adams
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteHoly crip he's a crapple!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Donovan Brooker - Season 1 - A Hero Sits Next Door
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteIf you have a problem, tell it to my butt, it's the only one that gives a crap!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteIt's like I died and gone to heaven... then they realised it wasn't my time so they sent me back to a brewery.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteLois, don't be alarmed but I think I may be Jesus.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 5 - No Meals on Wheels
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteThe grown up in me likes the prospect of fun… But the kid in me is suicidal over what a fat bastard I’ll become.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 2 - A Picture is Worth a 1,000 Bucks
 
Tom Tucker Tom Tucker Open QuoteNews just in, two children have gone missing after an accident involving a drunk driver at the park.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteOh my god, I was just there!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteSuzzie babadaboopi!Close Quote
Brian Brian Open QuotePeter you can't speak Italian just 'cause of your moustache.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteDo you now how you always wanted a diamond engagement ring?Close Quote
Lois Lois Open QuoteOh my god, Peter.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteThat's right I bought a horse.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Quagmire Quagmire Open QuoteWho would you have sex with Brian or meg?Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteOhhh I would defo choose brian Meg is ugly.Close Quote
Brian Brian Open QuoteWhat the f*ck?Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 2 - Wasted Talent
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteThe fence... the cripples natural enemy.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteYou know what else is rewarding? Shutting your vag.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 6 - The Former Life of Brian
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteHmmm that's interesting, there seems to be a certain segment missing in here, an ornithological piece a mass awareness regarding a certain avian variety.Close Quote
Brian Brian Open QuoteWhat are you talking about Peter?Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteOh have you not heard it was my understanding that everyone had heard... a well a bird bird bird b-birds the word!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 7 - I Dream of Jesus
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteLois, you know it’s illegal for a woman to drive.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 2 - A Picture is Worth a 1,000 Bucks
 
Peter Peter Open Quote...he invited us to dinner.Close Quote
Lois Lois Open QuoteOh good, I won't have to cook.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteNo, go ahead and cook anyway, we'll through it out, I don't want you getting rusty.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 3 - From Methods to Madness
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteNow if you'll excuse me, I have some death to defy.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 5 - Road to Rupert
 
Meg Meg Open QuoteDad, why don’t you tell the story about when I was born.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteWe got halfway home with the afterbirth, then had to go back and swap it for Meg. The end.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 6 - Blue Harvest
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteThis is the story of Star Wars. Lets begin with part IV.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 6 - Blue Harvest
 
Lois Lois Open QuotePeter, you've been sleeping with that money for the past week. It's time we did something with it.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteBuy a bolt and shut that trap of yours?Close Quote
Lois Lois Open QuoteWhat?Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 5 - No Meals on Wheels
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteWhy are all these parallelograms here?Close Quote
Quagmire Quagmire Open QuoteYou mean paraplegics?Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 5 - No Meals on Wheels
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteI thought you were going to rape me!Close Quote
Dr Hartman Dr Hartman Open QuoteWell I was till you ran out of the room!Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteWhat?!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 5 - Stewie Loves Lois
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteYou don't know for sure if that's your baby Glenn.Close Quote
Baby Open QuoteGiggity.Close Quote
Quagmire Quagmire Open QuoteOoh... I say that.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 8 - Quagmire's Baby
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteNone of this would of happened, if someone didn't steal my f*cking surfing bird record.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 2 - Holy Crap
 
Brian Brian Open QuotePeter do you listen to yourself?Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteYeah, I drift in and out.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteOh yeah, you're my Chinese Lois.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteMe and Lois are having a 3-way.Close Quote
Meg Meg Open QuoteI had a 1-way once.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 8 - Partial Terms of Endearment
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteShut up Meg!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteHey Chris lets go to the suit shop and fart in all the suits.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Julien Lindsay - Season 2 - A Picture is Worth a 1,000 Bucks
 
Carter Pewterschmidt Open QuoteSo...do these people live here?Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteNo, Mr Pewterschmidt this is a bus.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Carter Pewterschmidt Open QuotePeter! Why are you naked in my house!?Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteWhy aren't you?Close Quote
Carter Pewterschmidt Open Quote...You're alright Griffin.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Lois Lois Open QuotePeter why the hell do you have a chastity belt?!Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteBecause Lois here are the facts about sex, if u have sex it turns straight people gay and turns gays into mexicans. It turns everyone down a notch.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Tianna Van Cura
 
Meg Meg Open QuoteDad I got an A for my math test.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteShut up Meg.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteHow'd you like to lose a bunch of teeth? I'm sorry Lois that's just what happens when you challenge someone's faith.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 4 - The Father, the Son and the Holy Fonz
 
Meg Meg Open QuoteYou're a smart fella, Dad.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteAnd you're a fart-smeller, Meg.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 7 - Tales of a Third Grade Nothing
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteLois, everyone has there sanctuary, the Catholics have churches, fat people have West Cousin and I have the brewery.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Vicar Open QuoteYou may now kiss the bride...Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteKiss her? I'm going to destroy her.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 6 - Play it Again, Brian
 
Quagmire Quagmire Open QuoteI smuggled whole bunch of fireworks back in my anus.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteQuaqmire, fireworks aren't illegal here, you could have just put them in your car and driven them here.Close Quote
Quagmire Quagmire Open QuoteOh, yeah, that's just as fun.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Lois Lois Open QuoteYou liked the Nutcracker, didn't you?Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteNo, Lois, I did not. The Nutcracker had zero physical comedy. With the name, I thought: this will be a few yuks, but no Lois. That title wrote a cheque that those queers on stage refused to cash.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 5 - No Chris Left Behind
 
Tom Tucker Tom Tucker Open QuoteGrim news from Daytona, Florida, where the remains of three female college students were found near a nightclub. Reports suggest all three were violated sexually before being brutally murdered.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteOh man, see that? Everybody's getting laid, but me.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 5 - Meet the Quagmires
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteWith great moustache comes great responsibility.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 6 - McStroke
 
Brian Brian Open QuoteHey Peter just came to check on- oh my god!Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteGuv'ment came and took my baby!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Mikey Dollinger
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteScrew our marriage! I love you!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Chris Chris Open QuoteYou only came here to get rid of your problems at home!Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteWhat are you talking about? Meg is right here!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 4 - Jungle Love
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteOccupado!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteOh! Boy, does it feel good to undo my butt flap.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 5 - No Meals on Wheels
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteI've got great ideas, but when they look at me all they see is a loser. Except the guy with a lazy eye, he sees a loser and a snack machine.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 2 - The King is Dead
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteOh my god Brian, there's a message in my Alphabites, it says 'oooooo'.Close Quote
Brian Brian Open QuotePeter, those are Cheerios.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: James Dylan Bassil - Season 1 - The Son Also Draws
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteI'll do it, cause I'm not afraid of a challenge. Like the time I out-farted Michael Moore.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteI can't help but to think that this is somehow all Meg's fault.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Salesman Open QuoteSay, you look like you could use an activity book with half the activities done.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteWow, that would save me half the time.Close Quote
Salesman Open QuoteConnect the dots? Hah! More like set the book down and have a beer.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 5 - No Meals on Wheels
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteButt scratcher! Butt scratcher! Get your butt scratcher here!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 5 - No Chris Left Behind
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteHey meg, is that another dog on the tv? Is that another dog? Who's that? Who's that? Someone at the door?Close Quote
Meg Meg Open QuoteIm not a dog you fat bastard!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteMeg.... Who let you back in the house?Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteAttention customers... Testicles... That is all..Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteSorry I'm retarded I don't know any better.Close Quote
Girl on Toilet Open QuoteOh you're just curious. Let me show you around.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Lois Lois Open QuotePeter, there has to be a world war 3 and 4 first.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteSee that's the beauty of world war 5, it's so intense that it skips over 3 and 4.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Waiter Open QuoteAnd who had the prime rib?Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteI hardly think that's any of your business.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 5 - Mother Tucker
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteRoad-house!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Lorna Palin
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteIt's almost as bad as having sex with a rhinoserious who doesn't love you any more.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteFace it Brian, I'm a bad father, a lousy husband and a snappy dresser.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteWow, I can't believe I'm really here. Who would've thought me, Peter Griffin, the guy who just two weeks ago, drew a smiley face on his own testicle to make his son laugh?..Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 7 - I Dream of Jesus
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteJesus Christ look at you. You had it all: money, fame, eternal life, the perfect hand for masturbating. And you blew it all.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 7 - I Dream of Jesus
 
Lois Lois Open QuoteHow was your bowel movement Peter?Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteI got some, but I didn't get the trouble maker.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Lorna Palin - Season 8 - Peter-assment
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteWhat the he'll was that?Close Quote
Dr Hartman Dr Hartman Open QuotePeter that was a prostrate exam.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteShut up, you had your in my ass!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteHey Quagmire did u get any last night?Close Quote
Quagmire Quagmire Open QuoteWhat a stupid question!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 4 - Patriot Games
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteBonjour Mr Pewterschmidt.Close Quote
Carter Pewterschmidt Open QuoteDid Peter have a stroke?Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Brian Brian Open QuotePeter what are you doing?Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteCrack.Close Quote
Brian Brian Open QuoteWhat the f*ck?!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteYou smell that chicken?Close Quote
Brian Brian Open QuoteAll I smell is your ass.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 2 - Holy Crap
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteIs there any nudity in this?Close Quote
James Wood James Wood Open QuoteYes I get naked.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteI'm growing quite fond of you Lois.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: James Dylan Bassil
 
Salesman Open QuoteThen you need... Volcano insurance.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open Quote...Go on...Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 3 - When You Wish Upon a Weinstein
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteI'm all strokey.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Lorna Palin - Season 6 - McStroke
 
Brian Brian Open QuotePeter, you should really slow down, you've already had like 30 hamburgers.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteShut up Brian, I'm relieving my pain of mustache-less-ness.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Lois Lois Open QuoteOk if i give you ten second's of making out would let it go?Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteLet's see where it goes.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 5 - Whistle While Your Wife Works
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteWhat's that? You want me in side you?Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Lorna Palin
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteWe are going to patrol the borders and keep this town as clean as a Jewish porno.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 6 - Padre de Familia
 
Lois Lois Open QuotePeter, Megs been suspended from school.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteThats ok, whatever she wants to do.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 8 - Dial Meg for Murder
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteEvery time we go to a hotel you hide the key to the mini-bar, but I found it...I found it.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 6 - Play it Again, Brian
 
Joe Joe Open QuotePeter, do you have food?Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteNo.Close Quote
Joe Joe Open QuoteAarh! Peter you've been eating my leg!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Christopher Hayes - Season 4 - Perfect Castaway
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteWell excuse me for being retarded.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteI'm just so confused right now. White is up, black is east.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 4 - Petarded
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteCriss-cross!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 9 - And Then There Were Fewer
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteI have a lump too. Mine is easier to get rid of.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Joan Open QuoteIs this a joke?Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteI wish it were Joan, I wish it were a joke. But these things happen, you know? You go for a walk in the park one day and wheel-chair ninjas and Nazis and pots and pans robots show up to kill you, and dinosaurs show up to eat the remains. You've seen the news.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteLois, before I found these movies women only made me cry through my penis, now they make me cry through my eyes.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 5 - Chick Cancer
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteDamn it Meg!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteQuick get to the hindenpeter.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Lois Lois Open QuoteShould we just ask hear how old she is?Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteMaybe we should just cut of her leg and count the rings.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 5 - Peter's Two Dads
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteHey, hey I was watching that!Close Quote
Guy In Shop Open QuoteIt'll be on next Christmas.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteWho the hell know's when that's gonna be?!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 3 - A Very Special Family Guy Freakin' Christmas
 
Quagmire Quagmire Open QuoteHey uh Peter, you wouldn't happen to have a card that apologizing for giving a woman aids?Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteUhmmm... Here we go, sorry I accidentally gave u STD.Close Quote
Quagmire Quagmire Open QuoteOh, that's all you have, accidental? Ok I'll take it. Thanks PeterClose Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteSir, Sir I need to check to see if you soiled yourself.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Spiderman Open QuoteEverybody gets one, tell him, Peter.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteYeah, apparently everybody gets one.Close Quote
Spiderman Open QuoteBingo.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 6 - Believe It or Not, Joe's Walking on Air
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteWhat you haven't heard brian?Close Quote
Stewie Stewie Open QuoteBrian don't!Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteBird bird bird, bird is the word, Brian have you heard about the bird, well Peter is gonna tell you about the bird bird bird, bird is the word, surfing bird...Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Alfie Sparrow - Season 7 - I Dream of Jesus
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteTake it up with my butt, he's the only one that gives a crap.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteHey kids you know that one birthday present that you wanted?Close Quote
Meg Meg Open QuoteA cell phone?Close Quote
Stewie Stewie Open QuoteA dead Lois?Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 2 - Da Boom
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteYou wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right. I talk too much. I also listen too much. Oh, I can be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. But you think what you want about me. I'm not changing. I like- I like me. My kids like me. My friends like me, 'cause I'm the real article. What you see is what you get.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Kyle Thompson-Duncan
 
Randy Fulture Open QuotePeter I have MS.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteOh hear that Chris? This guy has a monkey scroutum and he's bragging about it.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Graham Caroline Burger
 
Police Officer Open QuoteDo you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteI do, ya bastard.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Lewis Brown - Season 2 - Peter, Peter, Caviar Eater
 
Death Open QuoteHow in the hell do you keep killing your self?Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteI don't now.Close Quote
Death Open QuoteMaybe because your fat.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Chase Lee - Season 1 - Death Has a Shadow
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteDeath? Why are you here?Close Quote
Death Open QuoteUmm...I'm here because of that.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Brandon Chou
 
Lois Lois Open QuotePeter. It's time for dinner.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteTake it up with my butt. He's the only one that gives a crap!Close Quote
Lois Lois Open QuoteWow! What a great sentence!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Matt Joe Leicht - Season 9 - Welcome Back, Carter
 
Lois Lois Open QuotePeter I don't think it's wise to have a brain damaged horse as a house pet.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteYou don't know nothing, bout anything.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 7 - Family Gay
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteWhoa Whoa Whoa Lois this is not my batman glass.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Dr House Open QuoteHouse.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteRoadhouse.Close Quote
Dr House Open QuoteThat too.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteVery nice people, yeah that's what they all ways say. Then they open up the sceptic tank and BAM! skeleton city.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 1 - A Hero Sits Next Door
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteHi Carter.Close Quote
Carter Pewterschmidt Open QuoteHello my son-in-lard.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteWhat do you want me to do? Wack a guy? Of a guy? Wack of a guy?Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Lorna Palin - Season 2 - There's Something About Paulie
 
Quagmire Quagmire Open QuoteWe're, umm playing a game.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteWhat is it?Close Quote
Quagmire Quagmire Open QuoteSex.Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 4 - Petergeist
 
Lois Lois Open QuoteAre we having sex?Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteUm, I don't know, lift up that roll right there. Yup!Close Quote
Vote 1Vote 2Vote 3Vote 4Vote 5

Comments
Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Michael Saddler - Season 4 - Sibling Rivalry
 

Add a New Family Guy Quote
*
quote* quote
quote quote
quote quote
Or
Please login to Facebook to submit with your Facebook account. 

People who liked Family Guy also liked...

South Park    The Simpsons    The Big Bang Theory    American Dad    An Idiot Abroad    The Cleveland Show   

People who liked Family Guy also liked...

Anchorman Talladega Nights Step Brothers Zombieland The Hangover Pirates of the Caribbean 4 Pirates of the Caribbean 3 Pirates of the Caribbean 2 Pirates of the Caribbean Old School Napoleon Dynamite Land of the Lost

Top TV Shows

An Idiot Abroad    Misfits    Extras    My Name is Earl    The Office (US)    The Mighty Boosh   

Top Movies

The Inbetweeners Movie Strange Wilderness Superbad The Hangover Bridesmaids Goodfellas Scarface The A-Team Old School Zombieland Anchorman Talladega Nights
Mobile Site | Copyright © 2010 Show Me Funny