Joey Tribbiani Quotes

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Played by: Matt LeBlanc

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Joey		I don’t know what to say, it’s a monkey.
Ross		Just tell him how you feel.
Joey		Marcel, I’m hungry.
Comments		- Season 1 - The One With The Fake Monica


Chandler		What did you get for Angela Del Veccio's birthday?
Joey		She didn't have a birthday while we were going out.
Chandler		For three years?
Comments		Quote Entered by: Paul Tibble - Season 4 - The One With The Dirty Girl


Joey		Hey Gunther, have you seen Chandler?
Gunther		I thought you were Chandler.
Comments		- Season 4 - The One With Chandler In A Box



Joey		Are you ok with this? I don’t want to leave you high and dry.
Chandler		Hey, I’ve never been lower or wetter.
Comments		- Season 2 - The One Where Joey Moves Out


Joey		I’ve been with my share of women. In fact I’ve been with a lot of people’s share of women.
Comments		- Season 2 - The One With Ross's New Girlfriend


Joey		Ross, I have two words for you, threesome!
Comments		- Season 2 - The One With The List



Phoebe		I feel this cat is my mother.
Joey		Phoebe's mom has has some huge...
Chandler		Shut up!
Comments		Quote Entered by: Mikey Fouse


Joey		Monica relax get a beer.
Monica		I don't want a beer.
Joey		Who said it was for you.
Comments		- Season 2 - The One With The Bullies


Phoebe		I'm going to take a pregnancy test now.
Joey		Oh, wow, you can tell this soon?
Phoebe		Well, the doctor says it takes a couple of days, but my body's always been a little faster than Western medicine.
Comments		- Season 4 - The One With The Embryos



Rachel		Do you guys have any ice?
Joey		Check the freezer, if there's none in there we're probably out.
Comments		- Season 3 - The One Where Monica And Richard Are Friends


Sales Man		Where does the Pope live?
Joey		In the woods... No, wait, that's the joke answer.
Comments		- Season 4 - The One With The Cuffs


Joey		Hey, what if you found out that your mom wasn't really your mom and your new mom turned out to be really hot? Oh, man, huh?
Chandler		But it's your mom.
Joey		No, I'm talking about your mom.
Comments		- Season 4 - The One With The Jellyfish


Sales Man		What do you know about vulcanized rubber?
Joey		Spock's birth control.
Comments		Quote Entered by: Paul Tibble - Season 4 - The One With The Cuffs


Joey		I invented Secret Santa, you know?
Comments		- Season 4 - The One With Chandler In A Box


Ross		Hello, didn't you read Lord of the Ring in high school?
Joey		No I had sex in high school.
Comments		- Season 4 - The One Where They're Going To Party


Joey		Go to China, eat Chinese food.
Chandler		Of course there they just call it, food.
Comments		- Season 1 - The One Where Rachel Finds Out