Jim Royle Quotes

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Played by: Ricky Tomlinson

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Jim		98 quid? It’s good to talk… my arse!
Comments		- Season 1 - Episode 1


Jim		Pasta, my arse!
Comments		- Season 1 - Episode 1


Jim		Are you going to make a brew or what Barbara? I’ve got a throat here like Gandhi’s bloody flip-flop.
Comments		- Season 1 - Episode 2



Jim		Going for an Eartha Kitt.
Comments		- Season 1 - Episode 2


Jim		I’m going for a Tom Tit.
Comments		- Season 1 - Episode 3


Jim		I couldn’t give a shiny shite!
Comments		- Season 2 - Episode 1



Jim		It’s up here for thinking, down there for dancing.
Comments		- Season 1 - Episode 6


Jim		Get that door Antony! And if it’s the invisible man, tell him I can’t see him.
Comments		- Season 2 - Episode 1


Denise		Daaad! Your flies are open!
Jim		Aaah, the cage is open but the beast is asleep.
Barbara		Beast, my arse!
Comments		- Season 2 - Episode 1



Jim		Parlor games my arse!
Comments		- Season 2 - Christmas Special


Jim		Anne Robinson, my arse. Watchdog?.. I am watching a bloody dog.
Comments		- Season 3 - Episode 1


Jim		Elton John was married to a woman but he still drops anchor in poo bay.
Comments		- Season 3 - Episode 1


Jim		He's a big headed bugger him.
Dave		Who?
Jim		Humpty Dumpty! Ha ha ha! One nil!
Comments		- Season 3 - Episode 2


Jim		Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be... completely bloody bladdered!
Comments		- Season 3 - Episode 2


Jim		I'll tell you about bloody London, eh? Pint of beer, three pound a bloody pint. And it's as flat as a witch's tit.
Comments		- Season 3 - Episode 5


Barbara		I'm only doing a finger buffet.
Jim		Finger my arse!
Comments		- Season 3 - Christmas Special


Jim		Get that, would you Barb?
Comments		- Season 3 - The New Sofa


Norma		My favourite mode of transport is....
Jim		...A bloody broomstick.
Comments		- Season 2 - Episode 2