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I'm Alan Partridge Season 1 Quotes
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| Alan |
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 Monkey Tennis?
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p109.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Alan: "Monkey Tennis?" ',5039,0)) - Season 1 - A Room With An Alan
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Alan, did you send Sophie a valentines card?
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Oh no, I'm old enough to be her Father, well her older Brother. Either way, it's incest.
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Kiss my face!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p109.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Alan: "Kiss my face!" ',212,0)) - Season 1 - Watership Alan
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I felt like a ruddy idiot.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p109.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Alan: "I felt like a ruddy idiot." ',218,0)) - Season 1 - Towering Alan
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I just hate the general public.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p109.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Alan: "I just hate the general public." ',219,0)) - Season 1 - Towering Alan
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No way, you big spastic! You're mentalist!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p109.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Alan: "No way, you big spastic! You\'re mentalist!" ',217,0)) - Season 1 - To Kill A Mocking Alan
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I guess that if you were to execute a hawk, the most humane way would be death by a firing squad!
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| Alan |
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This would make a good murder weapon. You could hit them round the head with it. Then eat the evidence.
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Unbelievable!
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That was Big Yellow Taxi, by Jodie Mitchell. A song in which Jodie complains that they paved paradise, to put up a parking lot. A measure that would have actually alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p109.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Alan: "That was Big Yellow Taxi, by Jodie Mitchell. A song in which Jodie complains that they paved paradise, to put up a parking lot. A measure that would have actually alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise." ',202,0)) - Season 1 - A Room With An Alan
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Dry skin cream? I had an attack of the old flakes again. This morning my pillow looked like a flapjack.
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| Alan |
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Hello is that reception? Hi Susan, can you make pornography come on my television, please.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p109.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Alan: "Hello is that reception? Hi Susan, can you make pornography come on my television, please." ',213,0)) - Season 1 - Watership Alan
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What's rude about a body?
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| Sophie |
Tits?
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Give me a second season, you sh*t!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p109.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Alan: "Give me a second season, you sh*t!" ',208,0)) - Season 1 - A Room With An Alan
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It actually says 'cock piss partridge'.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p109.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Alan: "It actually says \'cock piss partridge\'." ',203,0)) - Season 1 - A Room With An Alan
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I've been working like a Japanese prison of war... but a happy one.
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Smell my cheese! Smell my cheese, you mother!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p109.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Alan: "Smell my cheese! Smell my cheese, you mother!" ',209,0)) - Season 1 - A Room With An Alan
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| Michael |
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This one time, I was stationed out in Berlese and I had this little macaque monkey, right. And one day I came back to my tent, right and it had eaten all my fags. So I picked it up and threw it in the sea.
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| Alan |
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This country!
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| Alan |
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That's a million pounds, Jurassic Park!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p109.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Alan: "That\'s a million pounds, Jurassic Park!" ',222,0)) - Season 1 - Towering Alan
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So what do people think about the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre?
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p109.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Alan: "So what do people think about the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre?" ',223,0)) - Season 1 - Towering Alan
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