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I'm Alan Partridge Quotes
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Here are some awesomely funny Alan Partridge quotes. I've picked out the best ones I could find. If you have any funny ones not already listed, please add them. There is a form at the bottom of the page.
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 Pass me the apple pie and remove yourself from the theatre of conflict.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p109.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Alan: "Pass me the apple pie and remove yourself from the theatre of conflict." ',232,0)) - Season 2 - The Talented Mr Alan
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Hands of cocks, up with socks!
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| Alan |
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It's alright Lynn, it's just an old army saying. Give us another one.
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| Michael |
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Kill! Kill! Stab! Twist! Kill!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/simon-greenall.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Michael: "Hands of cocks, up with socks!" Alan: "It\'s alright Lynn, it\'s just an old army saying. Give us another one." Michael: "Kill! Kill! Stab! Twist! Kill!" ',233,0)) - Season 2 - The Colour Of Alan
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Woh! Woh! Woh! Thats English for stop a horse.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p109.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Alan: "Woh! Woh! Woh! Thats English for stop a horse." ',234,0)) - Season 2 - The Colour Of Alan
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Monkey Tennis?
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p109.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Alan: "Monkey Tennis?" ',5039,0)) - Season 1 - A Room With An Alan
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| Susan |
Alan, did you send Sophie a valentines card?
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Oh no, I'm old enough to be her Father, well her older Brother. Either way, it's incest.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/logo_for_fb.png',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Susan: "Alan, did you send Sophie a valentines card?" Alan: "Oh no, I\'m old enough to be her Father, well her older Brother. Either way, it\'s incest." ',210,0)){kind=logo} - Season 1 - Alan Attraction
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Kiss my face!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p109.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Alan: "Kiss my face!" ',212,0)) - Season 1 - Watership Alan
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I felt like a ruddy idiot.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p109.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Alan: "I felt like a ruddy idiot." ',218,0)) - Season 1 - Towering Alan
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I just hate the general public.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p109.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Alan: "I just hate the general public." ',219,0)) - Season 1 - Towering Alan
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No way, you big spastic! You're mentalist!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p109.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Alan: "No way, you big spastic! You\'re mentalist!" ',217,0)) - Season 1 - To Kill A Mocking Alan
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I guess that if you were to execute a hawk, the most humane way would be death by a firing squad!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p109.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Alan: "I guess that if you were to execute a hawk, the most humane way would be death by a firing squad!" ',211,0)) - Season 1 - Alan Attraction
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Back of the net!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p109.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Alan: "Back of the net!" ',228,0)) - Season 2 - The Talented Mr Alan
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Don't smile, you've broken your neck!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/im-alan-partridge/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p109.jpg',' ','I\'m Alan Partridge Quotes','Alan: "Don\'t smile, you\'ve broken your neck!" ',231,0)) - Season 2 - The Talented Mr Alan
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