Homer Simpson Quotes

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Homer		I love these lazy Saturdays.
Marge		It’s Wednesday Homer.
Homer		Aaargh! Work!
Comments		- Season 9 - Reality Bites


Homer		The Internet’s on computers now.
Comments		- Season 9 - Das Bus


Marge		It's time for the church picnic.
Homer		What? They had a picnic last week.
Marge		No, they didn't. You just brought a bucket of chicken to church.
Comments		- Season 9 - King of the Hill



Homer		Hey, they’ve got chairs with wheels. And here I am using my legs like a sucker.
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Bart		God is so in-your-face.
Homer		Yeah, he’s my favourite fictional character.
Comments		- Season 9 - Das Bus


Lisa		Oh, I was a fool to help that horrible old man.
Homer		I hope you learned your lesson, Lisa. Never help anyone.
Comments		- Season 8 - The Old Man and the Lisa



Marge		You're not even listening to me.
Homer		Sure they will.
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Homer		All my life I've been a fat man trapped in an obese man's body.
Comments		- Season 7 - King-Size Homer


Homer		I love these real Saturdays, not like those fake ones that almost got me fired...
Comments		- Season 9 - Reality Bites



Homer		Oh, my God, space aliens. Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids... eat them.
Comments		- Season 8 - Treehouse of Horror VII


Homer		Used grease is worth money?.. Then my arteries are clogged with yellow gold. I’m rich!
Comments		- Season 10 - Lard of the Dance


Bart		Mom’s going to kill you.
Homer		If she didn’t want he car ruined she should have done a better job hiding her keys.
Comments		- Season 10 - Lard of the Dance


Homer		Let’s prayer… Dear Lord, we know you’re busy seeing as how you can watch women changing clothes and all that…
Comments		- Season 10 - Lard of the Dance


Marge		I suppose if this doesn’t workout you can get your job back at the plant.
Homer		Not the way I quit.
Comments		- Season 10 - The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace


Homer		I’m the luckiest man in the world… now that Lou Gehrig’s dead.
Comments		- Season 10 - Homer Simpson in: Kidney Trouble


Homer		Are you sure this is a sci-fi convention, it’s full of nerds?
Comments		- Season 10 - Mayored to the Mob


Homer		Crap on a crust!
Comments		- Season 10 - Mayored to the Mob


Homer		Sock it to me, baby!
Comments		- Season 10 - Viva Ned Flanders


Homer		Bart! Get down here. I’m gonna spank you back to the Stone Age!
Comments		- Season 10 - Wild Barts Can't Be Broken


Homer		Barney, where have you been?
Barney		All I can remember about the last two months, is giving a guest lecture at Villanova. Or maybe it was a street corner.
Comments		Quote Entered by: Gabrielle Feather Campbell


Homer		It's just like David and Goliath. Only this time David won.
Comments		- Season 9 - Trash of the Titans


Homer		Lisa, do I have my pants on?
Lisa		Yes.
Homer		Perfect.
Comments		- Season 9 - Trash of the Titans


Homer		Hey, everybody, I’m Peter Pantless!
Comments		- Season 9 - The City of New York vs Homer Simpson


Homer		D’oh!
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Trent Steel		So where to eat? You like Thai?
Homer		Tie good. You like shirt?
Comments		- Season 10 - Homer to the Max


Trent Steel		Have you had any lunch?
Homer		Yeah, but I usually have three or four.
Comments		- Season 10 - Homer to the Max


Homer		I take a whiskey drink. I take a chocolate drink. And when I have to pee, I use the kitchen sink. I sing the song that reminds me I'm a urinating guy.
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