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Strange Wilderness Quotes
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| Peter |
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 It is estimated that bears attack 2 million salmon a year. Attacks by salmon on bears are much more rare.
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| Junior |
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Dick, does your name ever get hard in the morning?
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| Peter |
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When a shark appears in the area sea lions will leave the water immediately. Luckily there are no tigers on the shore waiting for him, or he wouldn't know what the f*ck to do.
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| Peter |
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These birds are saying howdy to the zebra. Actually, they're not saying howdy, they're eating the sh*t out of him.
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| Peter |
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Wow, look at that, these balls are sensational.
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| Peter |
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Hundreds of ants are eaten each year by monkeys. Researchers believe that these numbers would be far less if ants where the same size or bigger than monkeys.
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| Peter |
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Monkeys make up over 80% of the world's monkey population.
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| Dick |
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Snicker one more time, I'll kick your balls up in your f*cking neck.
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| Fred |
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You like your name? You like Dick?
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| Junior |
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Dick, do you ever let your dog lick your name?
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| Dick |
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By the way my name is Dick... Just Dick.
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| Fred |
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Like Cher, but Dick.
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| Dick |
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You say Dick, I come running.
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| Junior |
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You come where?
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| Cooker |
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I was trying to make you feel better. Then you hit me in the head. Now there's a bump on my head. It looks like a dinosaur egg. If that dinosaur hatches, people are gonna think I'm some sort of prehistoric gentleman bird.
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| Peter |
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His razor-sharp teeth, where as sharp as razors.
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| Peter |
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Here we see the pufferfish. Our best guess is that this fish inflates by sucking it's balls into it's stomach.
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| Junior |
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Have you guys ever tried to poop and brush your teeth at the same time? It's f*cking hard.
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| Danny |
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Hey Pete, this oil looks a little thick. Maybe I should add some water.
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| Peter |
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Jesus, man, a month on the road with this guy, I'd shove an exhaust pipe through my f*cking heart.
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| Danny |
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Did you guys notice any sediment in that tequila last night? Because some kinda pebble or rock or something clogged up my penis-hole and my johnson swelled up like a f*cking water balloon hooked up to a tea kettle. Whoo!
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| Peter |
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Bears have been known to attack man, although the fact is that fewer people have been killed by bears than in all of world war 1 and 2 combined.
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| Peter |
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Bears are a proud people, although they are not people, per se, they are animals.
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| Peter |
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Bears derive their name from a football team in Chicago... No, it's the other way around.
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| Cooker |
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That was f*cking beautiful. Take a bow, man.
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| Junior |
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Dick, does your name ever shrink if you go in cold water?
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| Peter |
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Sharks can only be found in two places on earth. The northern and southern hemispheres.
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| Danny |
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Goddamn, I know one thing. That fat bastard can eat, man. F*ck, yeah. I saw him eat a cat once. It was crazy. I mean this poor cat didn't know what was happening... Or maybe it was a lobster he ate.
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Strange Wilderness Characters
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| Steve Zahn | as | Peter |
| Allen Covert | as | Fred |
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| Jonah Hill | as | Cooker |
| Kevin Heffernan | as | Whitaker |
| Ashley Scott | as | Cheryl |
| Peter Dante | as | Danny |
| Harry Hamlin | as | Sky | Robert Patrick | as | Gus | |
| Joe Don Baker | as | Bill |
| Blake Clark | as | Dick |
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| Justin Long | as | Junior |
| Ernest Borgnine | as | Milas |
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