Semi-Pro Quotes
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| Jackie |
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 Dissolve? What's dissolve? Is that even a word?
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| Jackie |
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It feels like I've got cat piss in my eyes.
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| Jackie |
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I'm Jackie Moon, I take care of you guys, right? I mean, you can just think of me as Bambi's mother. I make sure nothing bad'll happen to you.
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| Twiggy |
Bambi's mother got shot, right?
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| Bee Bee |
Yeah, first scene.
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| Jackie |
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Everyone can eat sh*t, a big bag of sh*t, I'm the greatest man in the world.
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| Commissioner |
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Goddamn it Bob, I'm about to reach over there and tear you a new asshole!
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| Monix |
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I'm at the top of my game... I'm very close to the top... I just got traded for a f*cking washing machine. What am I talking about?
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| Jackie |
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There's nothing in the rule book that says you can't play drunk.
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| Dick |
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No, actually there is.
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| Dick |
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The Swedes are so inventive, aren't they?
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| Bobby |
They are my favourite producers of pornography.
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| Jackie |
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They make an excellent f*ck picture.
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| Lou |
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It's a sh*t-f*cking-sandwich, Dick.
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| Jackie |
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Somebody hit somebody!
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| Lou |
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I'll bet my alleged son he doesn't make this shot.
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| Jackie |
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I'm so happy, I can't feel my arms!
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| Jackie |
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Did you lose weight, Father Pat?
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| Pat |
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F*ck off Jackie.
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| Lou |
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Well, it's true, what they say about Bee Bee's wife. She has got a tremendous set of boobs.
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| Dick |
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To me, they're too large. To me she looks structurally unsound.
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| Dick |
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Well, we've got an especially dirty hippy here...
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| Jackie |
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Everybody panic! It's just like the Titanic, but it's full of bears!
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