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Evolution Quotes
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| Nurse |
I'll get the lubricant.
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| Doctor |
There's no time for lubricant.
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| Harry |
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There's always time for lubricant!
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| Wayne |
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Who's going to pay for the damage to my goddamn car?
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| Cop |
Son, I told you, we don't do that. It's force majeure.
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| Wayne |
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Force majeure, my ass!
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| Harry |
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Is the Nobel Prize paid in instalments or a lump sum, like the lottery?
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| Harry |
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I'm no biologist, but how many cells do single-celled organisms have?
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| Harry |
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Nadine, sometimes science stinks. It's the game we play, baby.
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| Ira |
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It's mitosis. That's how they reproduce.
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| Harry |
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No sex?
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| Nadine |
Bummer.
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| Ira |
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You gotta know how to talk to the white man.
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| Harry |
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The white man about to get his ass whupped.
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| Ira |
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This is horsesh*t!
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| Ira |
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The penalty for impersonating an officer is five years in prison.
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| Harry |
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Yeah, maybe for you white boy. Me, they'd hang.
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| Doctor |
A little deeper.
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| Harry |
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No deeper!
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| Harry |
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I'd like an ice-cream please.
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| Allison |
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What flavour?
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| Harry |
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It doesn't matter. It's for my ass.
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| Wayne |
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You're nothing but a big fat monkey turd.
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| Harry |
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Great googa-mooga!
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| Harry |
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Just because I'm a school teacher, doesn't make me a pussy.
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| Shoplifter |
How would you like me to scratch the eyes out of your skull!
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| Ira |
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If I was a giant, nasty alien bird in a department store, where would I be?
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| Harry |
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Lingerie.
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| Governor Lewis |
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I should throw the whole goddamn, jacked up bunch of you into prison. Not that cushy federal place with the jumpsuits. State prison, with the crotch binders.
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| Governor Lewis |
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Put a plug in it! I'm not interested in your bureaucratic crapola.
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| Wayne |
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Now that's a face for radio.
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| Allison |
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They've breached the air-lock.
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| Governor Lewis |
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What, the fuzzy, no-nose chimp?
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| Harry |
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There's an old abandoned silver mine half a click south of here. We can sneak into the cave through there.
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| Ira |
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Half a click? What are you in Vietnam?
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| Harry |
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Hey, I'm digging this. Work with me.
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| Gen Woodman |
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What the hell are those guys doing with that ladder?
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| Governor Lewis |
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Looks like they're getting ready to administer a jumbo enema.
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Evolution Characters
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I'll get the lubricant.
















