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Due Date Quotes
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Peter is travelling across the USA to get home to his expecting wife. But Peter and Ethan manage to get on the no-fly list after a situation gets out of hand. Unable to higher his own car, as he's lost his wallet Peter reluctantly decides to get a lift from Ethan.
If you liked Hangover then you'll probably like this movie, it's very funny nearly all the way through.
If you liked Hangover then you'll probably like this movie, it's very funny nearly all the way through.
| Ethan |
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 Nice to meet you too. Now, lets get that baby out of your vagina.
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| Ethan |
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Do you have a hairdresser out west? I've just got this killer perm and it needs major upkeep.
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| Sarah |
I'm sorry, did you just say you have a perm?
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| Ethan |
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Yeah, a perm. Like a permanent.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/due-date/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/zach-galifianakis.jpg',' ','Due Date Quotes','Ethan: "Do you have a hairdresser out west? I\'ve just got this killer perm and it needs major upkeep." Sarah: "I\'m sorry, did you just say you have a perm?" Ethan: "Yeah, a perm. Like a permanent." ',0,783)) |
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| Ethan |
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I once ate a foot-long corn-dog on a nude beach. I'll never do that again.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/due-date/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/zach-galifianakis.jpg',' ','Due Date Quotes','Ethan: "I once ate a foot-long corn-dog on a nude beach. I\'ll never do that again." ',0,781)) |
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| Peter |
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That was Shakespeare, heard of him?
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| Ethan |
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Yes, I've heard of him. He's a famous pirate. And by the way, it's Shakesbeard.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/due-date/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/robert-downey-jr.jpg',' ','Due Date Quotes','Peter: "That was Shakespeare, heard of him?" Ethan: "Yes, I\'ve heard of him. He\'s a famous pirate. And by the way, it\'s Shakesbeard." ',0,788)) |
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Have you ever seen Forrest Gump?
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| Peter |
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Yes.
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| TSA Agent |
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Well, he ran across country and he was pretty stupid... So I have faith in you.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/due-date/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/matt-walsh.jpg',' ','Due Date Quotes','TSA Agent: "Have you ever seen Forrest Gump?" Peter: "Yes." TSA Agent: "Well, he ran across country and he was pretty stupid... So I have faith in you." ',0,779)) |
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| Peter |
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I despise who you are at a cellular level.
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| Ethan |
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Ok, I've heard that before and I'm trying to work on it.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/due-date/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/robert-downey-jr.jpg',' ','Due Date Quotes','Peter: "I despise who you are at a cellular level." Ethan: "Ok, I\'ve heard that before and I\'m trying to work on it." ',0,787)) |
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| Peter |
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It looks like a border crossing, it says Mexico...
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| Ethan |
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Oh lord... I thought that said Texaco, we're low on gas.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/due-date/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/robert-downey-jr.jpg',' ','Due Date Quotes','Peter: "It looks like a border crossing, it says Mexico..." Ethan: "Oh lord... I thought that said Texaco, we\'re low on gas." ',0,791)) |
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| Ethan |
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Nice perm man. Well done. Well done on that perm.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/due-date/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/zach-galifianakis.jpg',' ','Due Date Quotes','Ethan: "Nice perm man. Well done. Well done on that perm." ',0,785)) |
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| Peter |
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What's that sound?
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| Ethan |
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Oh, that's me, I'm just masturbating.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/due-date/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/robert-downey-jr.jpg',' ','Due Date Quotes','Peter: "What\'s that sound?" Ethan: "Oh, that\'s me, I\'m just masturbating." ',0,786)) |
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| Ethan |
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It started in an internet cafe, I used to go in there to wash my feet.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/due-date/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/zach-galifianakis.jpg',' ','Due Date Quotes','Ethan: "It started in an internet cafe, I used to go in there to wash my feet." ',0,790)) |
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| Ethan |
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We haven't been drinking. I mean, we split a six-pack... Of 40s, but...
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/due-date/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/zach-galifianakis.jpg',' ','Due Date Quotes','Ethan: "We haven\'t been drinking. I mean, we split a six-pack... Of 40s, but..." ',0,778)) |
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| Ethan |
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Look, I know we got off on the wrong foot. But I tell you, I have a really great personality once you get to know me.
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| Peter |
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Yeah, I'm sure you do.
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| Ethan |
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I've got 90 friends on Facebook. Twelve of them are pending, but I've got 90 friends.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/due-date/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/zach-galifianakis.jpg',' ','Due Date Quotes','Ethan: "Look, I know we got off on the wrong foot. But I tell you, I have a really great personality once you get to know me." Peter: "Yeah, I\'m sure you do." Ethan: "I\'ve got 90 friends on Facebook. Twelve of them are pending, but I\'ve got 90 friends." ',0,780)) |
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| Ethan |
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I need to take a pee-pee.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/due-date/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/zach-galifianakis.jpg',' ','Due Date Quotes','Ethan: "I need to take a pee-pee." ',0,782)) |
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| Ethan |
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Stop worrying. She's very legitimate. I found her on Craigslist.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/due-date/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/zach-galifianakis.jpg',' ','Due Date Quotes','Ethan: "Stop worrying. She\'s very legitimate. I found her on Craigslist." ',0,784)) |
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| Peter |
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Sorry I drank your dad.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/due-date/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/robert-downey-jr.jpg',' ','Due Date Quotes','Peter: "Sorry I drank your dad." ',0,789)) |
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| Ethan |
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I have an expectant father and a gunshot victim, which way?
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/due-date/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/zach-galifianakis.jpg',' ','Due Date Quotes','Ethan: "I have an expectant father and a gunshot victim, which way?" ',0,792)) |
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| Peter |
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Um what are you doing?
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| Ethan |
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I'm masturbating. It helps me sleep.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/due-date/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/robert-downey-jr.jpg',' ','Due Date Quotes','Peter: "Um what are you doing?" Ethan: "I\'m masturbating. It helps me sleep." ',0,2046)) |
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