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Dodgeball Quotes
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You've gotta love Dodgeball, the all time classic from 2004. There are some very funny quotes from the film, find them below. Feel free to add your own, at the bottom of the page.
| Cotton |
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 Looks like it’s a two on one, a ménage a trois
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| Pepper |
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Normally you pay double for that type of action, Cotton.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/gary-cole.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Cotton: "Looks like it’s a two on one, a ménage a trois" Pepper: "Normally you pay double for that type of action, Cotton." ',0,125)) |
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| Patches |
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Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine?
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| Peter |
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Probably not.
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| Patches |
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No, but I do it anyway because it’s sterile and I like the taste!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/rip-torn.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Patches: "Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine?" Peter: "Probably not." Patches: "No, but I do it anyway because it’s sterile and I like the taste!" ',0,112)) |
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| Patches |
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I get better runs in my shorts!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/rip-torn.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Patches: "I get better runs in my shorts!" ',0,113)) |
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| Patches |
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You’re about as useful as a poopy flavoured lollypop!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/rip-torn.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Patches: "You’re about as useful as a poopy flavoured lollypop!" ',0,115)) |
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| Patches |
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You couldn’t hit water if you fell out of a boat!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/rip-torn.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Patches: "You couldn’t hit water if you fell out of a boat!" ',0,116)) |
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| Patches |
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If you want to have dodgeball victory, you’ve got to grab it by it’s haunches and hump it into submission.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/rip-torn.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Patches: "If you want to have dodgeball victory, you’ve got to grab it by it’s haunches and hump it into submission." ',0,106)) |
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| Patches |
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If you can dodge traffic! You can dodge a ball.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/rip-torn.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Patches: "If you can dodge traffic! You can dodge a ball." ',0,114)) |
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| Dwight |
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She must be a lesbian.
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| Peter |
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She’s not a lesbian.
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| Patches |
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All I know is that, that dyke can play.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/chris-williams.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Dwight: "She must be a lesbian." Peter: "She’s not a lesbian." Patches: "All I know is that, that dyke can play." ',0,117)) |
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| Peter |
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Ok crazy guy!
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| Patches |
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I am crazy and I aint a guy!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/vince-vaughn.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Peter: "Ok crazy guy!" Patches: "I am crazy and I aint a guy!" ',0,107)) |
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| Patches |
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Line up ladies!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/rip-torn.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Patches: "Line up ladies!" ',0,108)) |
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| Patches |
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You’ve got to learn the five Ds of dodge ball: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/rip-torn.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Patches: "You’ve got to learn the five Ds of dodge ball: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!" ',0,109)) |
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| Justin |
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Err shouldn’t we learn by dodging balls that are thrown at us?
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| Patches |
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That’s what this bag of wrenches is for.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/justin-long.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Justin: "Err shouldn’t we learn by dodging balls that are thrown at us?" Patches: "That’s what this bag of wrenches is for." ',0,110)) |
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| Patches |
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If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/rip-torn.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Patches: "If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball." ',0,111)) |
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| White |
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Here at Globo Gym we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia and it’s only your fault if you don’t hate yourself enough to do something about it.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/51.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','White: "Here at Globo Gym we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia and it’s only your fault if you don’t hate yourself enough to do something about it." ',0,96)) |
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| Dwight |
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We could sell blood and semen… …what? Not mixed together…
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/chris-williams.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Dwight: "We could sell blood and semen… …what? Not mixed together…" ',0,97)) |
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| White |
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I’ve got some shackles in the back… I’m just kidding… but seriously I’ve got them.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/51.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','White: "I’ve got some shackles in the back… I’m just kidding… but seriously I’ve got them." ',0,99)) |
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| Peter |
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Come on Kate, it’s time to put your mouth where our balls are.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/vince-vaughn.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Peter: "Come on Kate, it’s time to put your mouth where our balls are." ',0,118)) |
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| Cotton |
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Las Vegas, a city built on sand, broken dreams and $5 lobster. A city where you get a happy ending, but only if you pay a little extra. A city that’s home to a sporting event better than the world cup, the superbowl and world war II combined.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/gary-cole.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Cotton: "Las Vegas, a city built on sand, broken dreams and $5 lobster. A city where you get a happy ending, but only if you pay a little extra. A city that’s home to a sporting event better than the world cup, the superbowl and world war II combined." ',0,119)) |
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| Patches |
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My sweet dick! It’s magic!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/rip-torn.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Patches: "My sweet dick! It’s magic!" ',0,120)) |
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| White |
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Nobody makes me bleed my own blood.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/51.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','White: "Nobody makes me bleed my own blood." ',0,1820)) |
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| Peter |
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I’m going to go put the thong song on and we’ll tear this place apart.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/vince-vaughn.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Peter: "I’m going to go put the thong song on and we’ll tear this place apart." ',0,98)) |
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| White |
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We should mate!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/51.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','White: "We should mate!" ',0,100)) |
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| White |
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You know in some cultures they only eat vomit.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/51.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','White: "You know in some cultures they only eat vomit." ',0,101)) |
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| Kate |
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I’m sorry Mr Goodman, I don’t date clients.
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| White |
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I get it, don’t crap where you eat.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/christine-taylor.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Kate: "I’m sorry Mr Goodman, I don’t date clients." White: "I get it, don’t crap where you eat." ',0,102)) |
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| White |
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Just kidding, but not really.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/51.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','White: "Just kidding, but not really." ',0,104)) |
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| Peter |
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Hey White, I didn’t that Nazi camp got out ‘til eight.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/vince-vaughn.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Peter: "Hey White, I didn’t that Nazi camp got out ‘til eight." ',0,105)) |
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| Cotton |
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…tomorrows round where we’ll separate the wheat from the chaff, the men from the boys and the awkwardly feminine from the possibly Canadian.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/gary-cole.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Cotton: "…tomorrows round where we’ll separate the wheat from the chaff, the men from the boys and the awkwardly feminine from the possibly Canadian." ',0,121)) |
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| Dwight |
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That guy’s a dickhead!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/chris-williams.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Dwight: "That guy’s a dickhead!" ',0,122)) |
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| Patches |
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It’s like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a door knob!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/rip-torn.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Patches: "It’s like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a door knob!" ',0,123)) |
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| White |
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Cram it up your cram hole La Fleur
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/51.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','White: "Cram it up your cram hole La Fleur" ',0,124)) |
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| Pepper |
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Pepper needs new shorts!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/jason-bateman.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Pepper: "Pepper needs new shorts!" ',0,126)) |
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| Pepper |
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F’n A, Cotton! F’n A!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/jason-bateman.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Pepper: "F’n A, Cotton! F’n A!" ',0,127)) |
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| Cotton |
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Ladies and gentlemen, I have been to the Great Wall of China, I have seen the pyrymids of Egypt, I have even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/gary-cole.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Cotton: "Ladies and gentlemen, I have been to the Great Wall of China, I have seen the pyrymids of Egypt, I have even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel." ',0,128)) |
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| Dwight |
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Oh snap!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/chris-williams.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Dwight: "Oh snap!" ',0,129)) |
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| White |
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F**king Chuck Norris!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/51.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','White: "F**king Chuck Norris!" ',0,130)) |
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| Gordon |
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L for love!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/film/dodgeball-a-true-underdog-story/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/55.jpg',' ','Dodgeball Quotes','Gordon: "L for love!" ',0,103)) |
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