Arthur Quotes

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Arthur		Good evening, officers. What seems to be the problem?
Cop		You're drunk again, Arthur.
Arthur		No. I have remained drunk since our last encounter.
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Arthur		Tito, Tito, I'll see you at the cock fight, it had better be what I think it is.
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Arthur		Bye bye, Tiffany, I'll call you, if you've not stolen my phone.
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Susan		We dated three months, you just disappeared.
Arthur		When Houdini did it, it was fun.
Comments		Quote Entered by: Paul Tibble


Arthur		Hello, Vivienne, I remember you from when I used to live in your womb.
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Arthur		When did you become so cynical? Marriage isn't a tool to protect a corporate image. It's to validate unwanted pregnancy.
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Arthur		Actually, Susan is a very special girl, isn't she? With that mouth, that velvety, beautiful mouth, like a clowns mouth. But not in a bad way. Like a sexy clown.
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Hobson		This is just a repeat of when you were certain you needed a pet giraffe to be happy. Well, you were bored with that after a week.
Arthur		Because he ate his monocle.
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Hobson		Evander, if he's not out of this ring in one minute, I'll bite your other ear off.
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Burt		My little Susan can turn you around. You know, she once bought a crack house and turned it into a condo.
Arthur		That's funny. I once did the exact opposite.
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Arthur		You love horses. I don't trust them. It's their eyes, their sneaky feet. Their shoes are permanent. Who makes that kind of commitment to a shoe?
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Susan		Are you saving yourself for marriage?
Arthur		More the divorce, to be honest.
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Arthur		Hobson, it's not what it looks like. Unless it looks like a cat raping a horse.
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Arthur Characters

Russell Brand	as	Arthur	Helen Mirren	as	Hobson
Greta Gerwig	as	Naomi Quinn	Jennifer Garner	as	Susan Johnson
Geraldine James	as	Vivienne	Luis Guzman	as	Bitterman
Nick Nolte	as	Burt Johnson