Airplane Quotes

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A great classic. Onboard a flight half the passengers, both pilots and the flight engineer eat bad fish and get taken ill. Dr Rumack (Leslie Nielsen) takes control of the situation and Robert fights his fears and takes over as the pilot.

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Cpt Oveur		Have you ever been in a cockpit before?
Little Joey		No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.
Cpt Oveur		Have you ever seen a grown man naked?
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Steve		Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.
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Steve		Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
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Dr Rumack		You had better tell the captain to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine		A hospital, what is it?
Dr Rumack		It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.
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Randy		Excuse me sir, there has been a little problem in the cockpit.
Ted		The cockpit? What is it?
Randy		It's the little room at the front of the plane where the pilot sits, but that's not important now.
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Ted		Surely you can't be serious.
Dr Rumack		I am serious and don't call me Shirley.
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Cpt Kramer		Flying a plane is no different to riding a bicycle, it's just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.
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Dr Rumack		What did we have for dinner?
Elaine		We had a choice steak or fish.
Dr Rumack		Yes, I remember. I had lasagna.
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Dr Rumack		How soon can we land?
Cpt Oveur		I can't tell.
Dr Rumack		You can tell me I'm a doctor.
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Ted		I guess the foots on the other hand now isnt it Kramer?
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Little Boy		Cream?
Little Girl		No thank you, I take it black, like my men.
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Airplane Characters

Leslie Nielsen	as	Dr Rumack	Julie Hagerty	as	Elaine Dickinson
Robert Hays	as	Ted Striker	Peter Graves	as	Cpt Clarence Oveur
Lloyd Bridges	as	Steve McCroskey	Robert Stack	as	Cpt Rex Kramer
Lorna Patterson	as	Randy	Stephen Stucker	as	Johny Henshaw-Jacobs
Frank Ashmore	as	Victor Basta	Jonathan Banks	as	Gunderson
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar	as	Roger Murdock