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Funny Family Guy quotes, here are some of the best ones we could find. If you have some funnier Family Guy quotes, add them with form at the bottom of the page.
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Quagmire Quagmire Open QuoteGigaty, gigaty goo, let's have sex.Close Quote
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Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 4 - Peter's got Woods
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteWhoa Whoa Whoa Lois this is not my batman glass.Close Quote
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Brian Brian Open QuoteHey Peter just came to check on- oh my god!Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteGuv'ment came and took my baby!Close Quote
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Publish to Facebook Wall Quote Entered by: Mikey Dollinger
 
Peter Peter Open QuoteMeg.... Who let you back in the house?Close Quote
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Chris Chris Open QuoteYou only came here to get rid of your problems at home!Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteWhat are you talking about? Meg is right here!Close Quote
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Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 4 - Jungle Love
 
Narrator Open QuoteI'm here to talk to you about r*pe. Ladies look to your left. Now look to your right. Statistics indicate that both of those men will r*pe you.Close Quote
Man 1 Open QuoteI'm not gonna r*pe you.Close Quote
Man 2 Open QuoteI might.Close Quote
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Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 4 - Brian Goes Back to College
 
Death Open QuoteI just thought you would make this coffee with milk, not crap.Close Quote
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Publish to Facebook Wall - Season 1 - Death Has a Shadow
 
Tricia Takanawa Open QuoteI have to stand outside because they won't let Asians inside.Close Quote
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Peter Peter Open QuoteScrew our marriage! I love you!Close Quote
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Tom Tucker Tom Tucker Open QuoteNews just in, two children have gone missing after an accident involving a drunk driver at the park.Close Quote
Peter Peter Open QuoteOh my god, I was just there!Close Quote
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Stewie Stewie Open QuoteCan you shave my coin purse?Close Quote
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Peter Peter Open QuoteSorry I'm retarded I don't know any better.Close Quote
Girl on Toilet Open QuoteOh you're just curious. Let me show you around.Close Quote
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 (Page 1 of 26) Next >>

Family Guy Characters

   Stewie Griffin    Peter Griffin
   Lois Griffin    Brian Griffin
   Chris Griffin    Meg Griffin
   Glen Quagmire    Joe Swanson
   Adam West    Cleveland Brown
   Herbet    Jillian
   Mort Goldman    Neil Goldman
   Bonnie    Tom Tucker
   Bruce    Carter Pewterschmidt
   Barbara Pewterschmidt    Seamus
   Muriel Goldman    Jasper
   Dr Hartman    Death
   Diane Simmons    Tricia Takanawa
   Ollie Williams    Francis Griffin
   Thelma Griffin    Mickey McFinnigan
   James Wood

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