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| Darren |
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Have you ever driven a taxi for real?
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| Robert De Niro |
No.
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- Season 2 - Jonathan Ross
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| Darren |
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The thing about Barry is, and I've noticed this, right, people will laugh at him, they never laugh with him. It's extraordinary.
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- Season 2 - Orlando Bloom
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| Andy |
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I just generally think the best things are auteured.
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| Darren |
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Huh... Turd?
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- Season 1 - Patrick Stewart
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| Patrick Stewart |
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You're not married, you haven't got a girlfriend and you don't watch Star Trek?
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| Andy |
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No.
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| Patrick Stewart |
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Good lord.
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- Season 1 - Patrick Stewart
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| Patrick Stewart |
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I'm walking along and I see this beautiful girl and I think I'd like to see her naked and so all her clothes fall off.
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| Andy |
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All her clothes fall off?
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| Patrick Stewart |
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Hm, yes and she's scrabbling around to get them back on again but even before she gets her knickers on, I've seen everything.
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Comments |
- Season 1 - Patrick Stewart
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| Maggie |
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Would you rather be you, with your face and your legs and the brain of a chimpanzee...
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| Andy |
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Brilliant.
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| Maggie |
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...Or would you rather be a chimpanzee with your brain?
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Comments |
- Season 1 - Patrick Stewart
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| Maggie |
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It's like that whole racism on a bus incident all over again.
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| Andy |
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What, the Rosa Parks incident?
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| Maggie |
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It wasn't in a park, it was on a bus.
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Comments |
- Season 1 - Samuel L Jackson
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| Kate Winslet |
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Get round here because I'm fudding myself stupid and I'm bloody loving it.
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Comments |
- Season 1 - Kate Winslet
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| Ross Kemp |
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Why do I say I can hold my breath under water for three and a half minutes?.. I can't. I panic in water, if anything.
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Comments |
- Season 1 - Ross Kemp
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| Darren |
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Alright, mate. Come and check this out. I just typed in 58,008, into a calculator... and lo and behold, amazingly it comes up, boobs. You see that? That's worth knowing, isn't it?
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Comments |
- Season 1 - Kate Winslet
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| Maggie |
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Coq au vin, sounds a bit rude doesn't it?
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| Andy |
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Not really.
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Comments |
- Season 1 - Ben Stiller
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| Ross Kemp |
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I've talked to actual SAS people, they've told me what it stands for.
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| Andy |
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What does it stand for then?
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| Ross Kemp |
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Super Army Soldiers.
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Comments |
- Season 1 - Ross Kemp
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Have you ever driven a taxi for real?












