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I'm Alan Partridge
Misfits
My Name is Earl
Psych
Scrubs
Sex and the City
South Park
The Big Bang Theory
The Cleveland Show
The Inbetweeners
The IT Crowd
The Mighty Boosh
The Office (UK)
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Eric Cartman Quotes
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| Cartman |
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 I hate democrats!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "I hate democrats!" ',34,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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What awaits everyone in heaven is eternal bliss, divine rest and ten thousand dollars cash.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "What awaits everyone in heaven is eternal bliss, divine rest and ten thousand dollars cash." ',102,0)) - Season 9 - The Death of Eric Cartman
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| Cartman |
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G.I.N.G.E.Rs don't have souls so they can't be pirates.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "G.I.N.G.E.Rs don\'t have souls so they can\'t be pirates." ',156,0)) - Season 13 - Fatbeard
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| Mr Garrison |
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Not all Muslim people are terrorists.
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| Cartman |
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No, but most of them are, and all it takes is most of them.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p41.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Mr Garrison: "Not all Muslim people are terrorists." Cartman: "No, but most of them are, and all it takes is most of them." ',280,0)) - Season 11 - The Snuke
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| Cartman |
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You are a rabbit and I am a human. So if you don't bring me what I want for Easter, I can f*cking kill you!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "You are a rabbit and I am a human. So if you don\'t bring me what I want for Easter, I can f*cking kill you!" ',284,0)) - Season 11 - Fantastic Easter Special
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| Cartman |
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Respect my authoriteee!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Respect my authoriteee!" ',369,0)) Quote Entered by: |
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| Cartman |
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I'm not fat.
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| Kyle |
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Yes you are! You're f*cking fat, fat ass!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "I\'m not fat." Kyle: "Yes you are! You\'re f*cking fat, fat ass!" ',583,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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Kick his ass craig if u don't I will f*ckin butt rape you and you'll bleed from your asshole so don't f*ck it up. Bitch!
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| Kyle |
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Alright, Tweek now I know you don't wanna fight him but god dammit if u lose and Cartman wins the bet I will stab u in the neck.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Kick his ass craig if u don\'t I will f*ckin butt rape you and you\'ll bleed from your asshole so don\'t f*ck it up. Bitch!" Kyle: "Alright, Tweek now I know you don\'t wanna fight him but god dammit if u lose and Cartman wins the bet I will stab u in the neck." ',584,0)) - Season 3 - Tweek vs Craig
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| Chef |
It seems we need to discuss a problem here.
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| Cartman |
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Ah yes the Jew problem.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/logo_for_fb.png',' ','South Park Quotes','Chef: "It seems we need to discuss a problem here." Cartman: "Ah yes the Jew problem.
" ',613,0)){kind=logo} - Season 11 - Lice Capades
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| Cartman |
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My dad was a GINGER!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "My dad was a GINGER!" ',624,0)) - Season 14 - 201
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| Cartman |
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You f*cking Jew!
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| Kyle |
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Fat f*ck!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "You f*cking Jew!
" Kyle: "Fat f*ck!" ',631,0)) - Season 1 - Death
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| Cartman |
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Suck my balls!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Suck my balls!" ',635,0)) Quote Entered by: |
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| Kyle |
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Oh my god. They are going to cut off Ike's penis.
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| Cartman |
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You don't call it a penis you call it a fireman. If you call it a penis you will get a spanking and get sent to timeout.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p32.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Kyle: "Oh my god. They are going to cut off Ike\'s penis." Cartman: "You don\'t call it a penis you call it a fireman. If you call it a penis you will get a spanking and get sent to timeout.
" ',656,0)) - Season 2 - Ike's Wee Wee
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| Cartman |
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Are you sure?
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| Kyle |
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Yes!
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| Cartman |
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Are you HIV positive?
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Are you sure?" Kyle: "Yes!" Cartman: "Are you HIV positive?" ',723,0)) - Season 12 - Tonsil Trouble
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| Cartman |
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I'm sorry Kyle but you have the three J's...Jinger Jersey Jew.
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| Kyle |
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Shut the f*ck up fatty!!!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "I\'m sorry Kyle but you have the three J\'s...Jinger Jersey Jew." Kyle: "Shut the f*ck up fatty!!!" ',737,0)) - Season 14 - It's a Jersey Thing
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| Cartman |
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It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation to increase the population. This type of penetration will increase the younger generation.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "It\'s a man\'s obligation to stick his boneration in a woman\'s separation to increase the population. This type of penetration will increase the younger generation." ',752,0)) - Season 4 - Do the Handicapped Go to Hell?
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| Cartman |
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You need a friend. A chocolate friend.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "You need a friend. A chocolate friend." ',945,0)) - Season 4 - Fat Camp
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| Cartman |
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Get all of these minorities out of my water park.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Get all of these minorities out of my water park." ',1035,0)) - Season 13 - Pee
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| Cartman |
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I want to get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus. I want to feel his salvation all over my face.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "I want to get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus. I want to feel his salvation all over my face." ',773,0)) - Season 7 - Christian Rock Hard
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| Butters |
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But fellas if I dress up like a dog with a star in my eye I'm gonna get grounded.
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| Cartman |
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Shut up Butters.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p35.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Butters: "But fellas if I dress up like a dog with a star in my eye I\'m gonna get grounded." Cartman: "Shut up Butters." ',778,0)) - Season 8 - Good Times with Weapons
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| Cartman's Mom |
What's wrong hun?
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| Cartman |
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Well apparently Butters is gay and is attracted to me. So he snuck in my room and gave me a hickey.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/logo_for_fb.png',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman\'s Mom: "What\'s wrong hun?" Cartman: "Well apparently Butters is gay and is attracted to me. So he snuck in my room and gave me a hickey." ',1178,0)){kind=logo} |
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| Stan |
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Yeah, what's there to hate about rainbows?
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| Cartman |
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Well, you know, you'll just be sitting there, minding your own business, and they'll come, marching in and crawl up your leg and start biting the inside of your ass. And you'll be all like, ay! Get out of my ass you stupid rainbows!
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| Stan |
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Cartman, what the hell are you talking about?
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p33.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Stan: "Yeah, what\'s there to hate about rainbows?" Cartman: "Well, you know, you\'ll just be sitting there, minding your own business, and they\'ll come, marching in and crawl up your leg and start biting the inside of your ass. And you\'ll be all like, ay! Get out of my ass you stupid rainbows!" Stan: "Cartman, what the hell are you talking about?" ',971,0)) - Season 1 - Weight Gain 4000
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| Cartman |
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How do I reach these kiiids?
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "How do I reach these kiiids?" ',985,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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Kyle u dirty Jew bag!
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| Kyle |
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Shut up fat ass!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Kyle u dirty Jew bag!" Kyle: "Shut up fat ass!" ',1156,0)) - Season 1 - An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig
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| Kyle |
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I just don't get it, if it makes you crap blood why do you still eat it?
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| Cartman |
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Have you ever had chipotle?
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p32.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Kyle: "I just don\'t get it, if it makes you crap blood why do you still eat it?" Cartman: "Have you ever had chipotle?" ',1817,0)) - Season 13 - Dead Celebrities
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| Cartman |
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Westsiede!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Westsiede!" ',1708,0)) |
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| Kyle |
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Wait! Isn't there some rule about not getting in the car with strangers?
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| Cartman |
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No. Not when money is envolved, stupid!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p32.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Kyle: "Wait! Isn\'t there some rule about not getting in the car with strangers?" Cartman: "No. Not when money is envolved, stupid!" ',2432,0)) - Season 1 - Mecha-Streisand
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| Stan |
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Dude dolphins are intelligent and friendly!
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| Cartman |
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Yeah, intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonnaise.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p33.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Stan: "Dude dolphins are intelligent and friendly!" Cartman: "Yeah, intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonnaise." ',2420,0)) |
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| Mr Garrison |
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How would you like to go to the principal's office?
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| Cartman |
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How would you like to suck my balls?
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p41.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Mr Garrison: "How would you like to go to the principal\'s office?" Cartman: "How would you like to suck my balls?" ',3756,0)) |
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| Stan |
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Wow, this place is huge.
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| Kyle |
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Yeah almost as big as cartmans ass!
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| Cartman |
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No it isn't you guys.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p33.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Stan: "Wow, this place is huge." Kyle: "Yeah almost as big as cartmans ass!" Cartman: "No it isn\'t you guys." ',4699,0)) Quote Entered by: |
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| Cartman |
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I'm not just sure, I'm HIV positive.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "I\'m not just sure, I\'m HIV positive." ',30,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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Okay Token now give me a smooth bass line.
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| Token |
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I told you I don't know to play bass.
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| Cartman |
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Token, how many times do we have to go over this? You're black, you know how to play bass.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Okay Token now give me a smooth bass line." Token: "I told you I don\'t know to play bass." Cartman: "Token, how many times do we have to go over this? You\'re black, you know how to play bass." ',932,0)) - Season 7 - Christian Rock Hard
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| Cartman |
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Why don't you girls go wash some dishes or get pregnant or something.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Why don\'t you girls go wash some dishes or get pregnant or something." ',250,0)) |
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| Kyle |
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One hundred thousand dollars!!!
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| Cartman |
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That's enough to buy slaves.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p32.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Kyle: "One hundred thousand dollars!!!" Cartman: "That\'s enough to buy slaves." ',201,0)) - Season 12 - Britney's New Look
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| Butters |
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You think girls tuck their balls up into the inside of their tummies?
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| Cartman |
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We're done talking about girls balls now Butters. Focus!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p35.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Butters: "You think girls tuck their balls up into the inside of their tummies?" Cartman: "We\'re done talking about girls balls now Butters. Focus!" ',3452,0)) - Season 11 - The List
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| Cartman |
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You're breaking my balls here.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "You\'re breaking my balls here." ',667,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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Ha ha ha ha, I did it! It's the greatest picture ever! I took a picture of butters weiner in my mouth! Ha ha ha, he's so gay now!
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| Kyle |
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No dude that makes you gay..
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| Cartman |
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Nu-hu,
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Ha ha ha ha, I did it! It\'s the greatest picture ever! I took a picture of butters weiner in my mouth! Ha ha ha, he\'s so gay now!" Kyle: "No dude that makes you gay.." Cartman: "Nu-hu," ',695,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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Crap filled vagina.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Crap filled vagina." ',838,0)) - Season 11 - Le Petit Tourette
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| Butters |
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Boy this town sure smells funny.
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| Cartman |
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Well maybe that's why it's called Ass-pen!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p35.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Butters: "Boy this town sure smells funny." Cartman: "Well maybe that\'s why it\'s called Ass-pen!" ',2956,0)) - Season 6 - Asspen
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| Mr Garrison |
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Does anyone know what sexual harassment is?
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| Cartman |
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When you are trying to have intercourse with a lady and someone tickles your balls from behind.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p41.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Mr Garrison: "Does anyone know what sexual harassment is?" Cartman: "When you are trying to have intercourse with a lady and someone tickles your balls from behind." ',4359,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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Handle it? For two billion dollars I would handle my grandpa's balls sir.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Handle it? For two billion dollars I would handle my grandpa\'s balls sir." ',23,0)) - Season 7 - Butt Out
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| Cartman |
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Just like the victims of breast cancer there is something I would like to get off my chest.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Just like the victims of breast cancer there is something I would like to get off my chest." ',33,0)) - Season 12 - Breast Cancer Show Ever
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| Cartman |
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Not visit Mr Jefferson anymore? Well excuse my french Mrs Marsh but you can suck my fat hairy balls.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Not visit Mr Jefferson anymore? Well excuse my french Mrs Marsh but you can suck my fat hairy balls." ',27,0)) - Season 8 - The Jeffersons
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| Cartman |
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Butters, remind me later to cut your balls off.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Butters, remind me later to cut your balls off." ',147,0)) - Season 7 - Christian Rock Hard
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| Cartman |
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Lame!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Lame!" ',254,0)) - Season 8 - AWESOM-O
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| Hotel Valet |
Hey, you can't park there!
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| Cartman |
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It's ok, I'm a hall monitor!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/logo_for_fb.png',' ','South Park Quotes','Hotel Valet: "Hey, you can\'t park there!" Cartman: "It\'s ok, I\'m a hall monitor!" ',626,0)){kind=logo} |
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| Cartman |
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Screw you guys im going home!
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| Stan |
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But, Cartman we are trying to..
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| Cartman |
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Screw you guys, home.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Screw you guys im going home!" Stan: "But, Cartman we are trying to.." Cartman: "Screw you guys, home." ',633,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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I am a cop and you will respect my authoritah!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "I am a cop and you will respect my authoritah!" ',725,0)) Quote Entered by: |
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| Cartman |
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Butters, you don't shoot a guy in the dick.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Butters, you don\'t shoot a guy in the dick." ',779,0)) - Season 12 - The China Problem
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| Cartman |
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I don't give a crap about whales, so go hug a tree!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "I don\'t give a crap about whales, so go hug a tree!" ',792,0)) - Season 13 - Whale Whores
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| Cartman |
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Suck my balls!!!
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| Ms Chokesondick |
Present them.
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| Cartman |
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What?
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Suck my balls!!!" Ms Chokesondick: "Present them." Cartman: "What?" ',824,0)) - Season 4 - 4th Grade
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| Cartman |
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Don't mind Kyle everyone, he just has a little sand in his vagina.
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| Kyle |
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There's no sand in my vagina!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Don\'t mind Kyle everyone, he just has a little sand in his vagina." Kyle: "There\'s no sand in my vagina!" ',1042,0)) - Season 5 - It Hits the Fan
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| Cartman |
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Okay our mission failed, yet we learned a lot-primarily that girls don't have balls.
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| Butters |
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They sure don't.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Okay our mission failed, yet we learned a lot-primarily that girls don\'t have balls." Butters: "They sure don\'t." ',2475,0)) - Season 11 - The List
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| Cartman |
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Girls don't think I'm fat, they know I'm buff.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Girls don\'t think I\'m fat, they know I\'m buff." ',99,0)) - Season 11 - The List
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| Mr Garrison |
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Apparently, we have a little problem here at the school, that we need to talk about.
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| Cartman |
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Aarh, yes, you mean the Jew problem.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p41.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Mr Garrison: "Apparently, we have a little problem here at the school, that we need to talk about." Cartman: "Aarh, yes, you mean the Jew problem." ',278,0)) - Season 11 - Lice Capades
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| Kyle |
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Cartman I thought you were going to kill yourself.
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| Cartman |
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I tried to. I turned my moms car on and slept there the whole night. F*ckin' hybrids man. They just dont do the trick.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p32.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Kyle: "Cartman I thought you were going to kill yourself." Cartman: "I tried to. I turned my moms car on and slept there the whole night. F*ckin\' hybrids man. They just dont do the trick." ',5647,0)) - Season 12 - Elementary School Musical
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| Cartman |
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Kyle! I swear if I didn't have a guys hand up my ass I would leap across the room and kick you in the NUTS!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Kyle! I swear if I didn\'t have a guys hand up my ass I would leap across the room and kick you in the NUTS!" ',22,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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Ooh ouch! Ma'am let go of that tight grip you have on my balls, you are breaking my balls Ma'am.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Ooh ouch! Ma\'am let go of that tight grip you have on my balls, you are breaking my balls Ma\'am." ',26,0)) - Season 8 - Goobacks
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| Cartman |
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No kitty this is my pot pie, no kitty! Mom! Kitty's being a little dildo!
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| Cartman's Mom |
Well then I know a certain little kitty who's sleeping with mommy tonight.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "No kitty this is my pot pie, no kitty! Mom! Kitty\'s being a little dildo!" Cartman\'s Mom: "Well then I know a certain little kitty who\'s sleeping with mommy tonight." ',758,0)) Quote Entered by: |
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| Cartman |
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Your family is black Token, you are bound to have a bass guitar somewhere in your basement.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Your family is black Token, you are bound to have a bass guitar somewhere in your basement." ',20,0)) - Season 7 - Christian Rock Hard
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| Cartman |
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Tell em Ma.Tell em how I'm just big boned. Tell about how all the kids in your family were big boned as a child and grew out of it.
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| Ms Cartman |
Um sweety... Those were lies. Ur just fat.
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| Cartman |
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Ayyee!!!!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Tell em Ma.Tell em how I\'m just big boned. Tell about how all the kids in your family were big boned as a child and grew out of it." Ms Cartman: "Um sweety... Those were lies. Ur just fat." Cartman: "Ayyee!!!!" ',708,0)) - Season 4 - Fat Camp
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| Kyle |
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You can't say f*ck in school you f*ckin fat ass!
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| Cartman |
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Well why the f*ck not?... It's not like it hurts anybody! F*ck f*ckity f*ck f*ck f*ck!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p32.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Kyle: "You can\'t say f*ck in school you f*ckin fat ass!" Cartman: "Well why the f*ck not?... It\'s not like it hurts anybody! F*ck f*ckity f*ck f*ck f*ck!" ',722,0)) Quote Entered by: |
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| Kyle's Cousin |
Is anyone else having problems concentrating on this? I just can't seem to concentrate.
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| Cartman |
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Maybe we should send you to a concentration camp.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/logo_for_fb.png',' ','South Park Quotes','Kyle\'s Cousin: "Is anyone else having problems concentrating on this? I just can\'t seem to concentrate." Cartman: "Maybe we should send you to a concentration camp." ',772,0)){kind=logo} - Season 5 - The Entity
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| Cartman |
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Watch out guys! Killer tities on the loose!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Watch out guys! Killer tities on the loose!" ',803,0)) - Season 12 - Breast Cancer Show Ever
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| Cartman |
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Hey what the hell are you doing?
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| Kyle |
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Oh hey Cartman, I was just playing Dreidel! You wanna try?
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| Cartman |
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Suurrreee! I've got a little dreidel, it's small and made of clay! But I'm not gonna play with it 'cos dreidel's freaking gay!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Hey what the hell are you doing?" Kyle: "Oh hey Cartman, I was just playing Dreidel! You wanna try?" Cartman: "Suurrreee! I\'ve got a little dreidel, it\'s small and made of clay! But I\'m not gonna play with it \'cos dreidel\'s freaking gay!" ',1322,0)) - Season 3 - Mr Hankey's Christmas Classics
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| Cartman |
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Ok do you have the essays?
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| Mexican |
Yeah, I wrote my essay in California.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Ok do you have the essays?" Mexican: "Yeah, I wrote my essay in California." ',2327,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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How would you like to suck my balls?
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| Mr Garrison |
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What did you say?
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| Cartman |
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Oh I'm sorry, actually what i said was, how would you like to suck my balls Mr. Garrison?
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "How would you like to suck my balls?" Mr Garrison: "What did you say?" Cartman: "Oh I\'m sorry, actually what i said was, how would you like to suck my balls Mr. Garrison?" ',774,0)) Quote Entered by: |
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| Cartman |
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Hello Ma'am, we are going around town offering a snow shovelling service, would you like your driveway and sidewalks shovelled for eight thousand dollars?
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Hello Ma\'am, we are going around town offering a snow shovelling service, would you like your driveway and sidewalks shovelled for eight thousand dollars?" ',25,0)) - Season 8 - Goobacks
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| Cartman |
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Red rocket! Red rocket!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Red rocket! Red rocket!" ',145,0)) - Season 5 - Proper Condom Use
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| Cartman |
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You shouldn't ever use the term fag, Kyle, that's a hate word and it's insensitive to butt pilots.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "You shouldn\'t ever use the term fag, Kyle, that\'s a hate word and it\'s insensitive to butt pilots." ',163,0)) - Season 13 - The Coon
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| Cartman |
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I'm not fat, I just have a sweet hockey body.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "I\'m not fat, I just have a sweet hockey body." ',373,0)) - Season 7 - Grey Dawn
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| Cartman |
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Oooh is that envy in your eye's Craig? Mmmm yes, drown me in the sweet waters of your envy.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Oooh is that envy in your eye\'s Craig? Mmmm yes, drown me in the sweet waters of your envy." ',374,0)) - Season 8 - Good Times with Weapons
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| Officer Barbrady |
You can't kidnap people and lock them in your basement.
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| Cartman |
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They're not people, they're hippies!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/logo_for_fb.png',' ','South Park Quotes','Officer Barbrady: "You can\'t kidnap people and lock them in your basement." Cartman: "They\'re not people, they\'re hippies!" ',589,0)){kind=logo} - Season 9 - Die Hippie, Die
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| Cartman |
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She smelled my finger and puked!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "She smelled my finger and puked!" ',620,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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I'm not fat, I'm big boned!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "I\'m not fat, I\'m big boned!" ',642,0)) Quote Entered by: |
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| Cartman |
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I'm addicted to abortions!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "I\'m addicted to abortions!" ',651,0)) - Season 13 - W.T.F.
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| Cartman |
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You suck cock.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "You suck cock." ',696,0)) - Season 3 - Sexual Harassment Panda
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| Cartman |
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Bad kitty!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Bad kitty!" ',745,0)) - Season 1 - Cartman Gets an Anal Probe
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| Cartman |
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I'm not fat, I'm just festively plump.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "I\'m not fat, I\'m just festively plump." ',751,0)) - Season 1 - Mr Hankey, the Christmas Poo
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| Cartman |
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Attention shoppers, cripple fight outside.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Attention shoppers, cripple fight outside." ',834,0)) - Season 5 - Cripple Fight
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| Cartman |
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I slaughtered 5 baby seals with my bare hands. I do what i want!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "I slaughtered 5 baby seals with my bare hands. I do what i want!" ',914,0)) - Season 6 - Freak Strike
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| Cartman |
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You're a chick, dude.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "You\'re a chick, dude." ',898,0)) - Season 12 - Breast Cancer Show Ever
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| Stan |
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It's just that he killed 23 babies.
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| Crowd Member |
Yeah but it was in self defense!
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| Cartman |
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He killed 23 babies in self defense?
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p33.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Stan: "It\'s just that he killed 23 babies." Crowd Member: "Yeah but it was in self defense!" Cartman: "He killed 23 babies in self defense?" ',2617,0)) - Season 6 - Free Hat
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| Stan |
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Oh my god! The video game caused Kenny to have a seizure!
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| Cartman |
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Dude, sweet!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p33.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Stan: "Oh my god! The video game caused Kenny to have a seizure!" Cartman: "Dude, sweet!" ',2264,0)) - Season 3 - Chinpokomon
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| Cartman |
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Token, we are making a Christian rock band. Get your bass guitar from your basement and get to my house in 30 minutes.
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| Token |
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But, I don't have a bass guitar in my basement.
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| Cartman |
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Token. You're black. All black people have bass guitars in their basement.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Token, we are making a Christian rock band. Get your bass guitar from your basement and get to my house in 30 minutes." Token: "But, I don\'t have a bass guitar in my basement." Cartman: "Token. You\'re black. All black people have bass guitars in their basement." ',3392,0)) |
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| Stan |
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We rip on everyone; like Cartman for being fat, and Cartman for being stupid, and Cartman for having a sadistic whore for a mom.
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| Cartman |
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Hey, you did me already!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p33.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Stan: "We rip on everyone; like Cartman for being fat, and Cartman for being stupid, and Cartman for having a sadistic whore for a mom." Cartman: "Hey, you did me already!" ',3559,0)) |
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| Stan |
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Come on dude, you don't care about whales, you just want to be on TV.
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| Cartman |
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I deserve to be on TV.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p33.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Stan: "Come on dude, you don\'t care about whales, you just want to be on TV." Cartman: "I deserve to be on TV." ',3666,0)) - Season 13 - Whale Whores
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| Cartman |
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No Starvin' Marvin that's Kenny's cream corn.
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| Kenny |
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Mphh.
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| Cartman |
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No Starvin' Marvin that's a bad Starvin' Marvin!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "No Starvin\' Marvin that\'s Kenny\'s cream corn." Kenny: "Mphh." Cartman: "No Starvin\' Marvin that\'s a bad Starvin\' Marvin!" ',8800,0)) Quote Entered by: |
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| Cartman |
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I'm killing you, but unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat, so it's going to take a while... Don't fight it Kyle, it'll only take longer, just slip into sweet unconsciousness.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "I\'m killing you, but unfortunately I could only afford a wiffle bat, so it\'s going to take a while... Don\'t fight it Kyle, it\'ll only take longer, just slip into sweet unconsciousness." ',21,0)) - Season 7 - Toilet Paper
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| Cartman |
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(Talking about Rob Reiner) Isn't he awesome you guys? Dude, he just goes round imposing his will on people, he's my idle.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "(Talking about Rob Reiner) Isn\'t he awesome you guys? Dude, he just goes round imposing his will on people, he\'s my idle." ',24,0)) - Season 7 - Butt Out
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| Cartman |
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F**K off Whistling Whilly, I'm not in the mood.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "F**K off Whistling Whilly, I\'m not in the mood." ',28,0)) - Season 8 - Quest for Ratings
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| Cartman |
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You just dealt with the Dowg, bitch!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "You just dealt with the Dowg, bitch!" ',29,0)) - Season 10 - Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy
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| Cartman |
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Aaargh yeah, hallo please, ching chong ping pow!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Aaargh yeah, hallo please, ching chong ping pow!" ',31,0)) - Season 12 - The China Problem
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| Cartman |
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Whats up, whats up, I crapped on your desk dowg, whats up with that?
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Whats up, whats up, I crapped on your desk dowg, whats up with that?" ',32,0)) - Season 12 - Breast Cancer Show Ever
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| Cartman |
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Oh wow, a Jew asking for money, thats a new one.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Oh wow, a Jew asking for money, thats a new one." ',100,0)) - Season 9 - The Death of Eric Cartman
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| Cartman |
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I'm not going to heck Butters, I'm not black!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "I\'m not going to heck Butters, I\'m not black!" ',101,0)) - Season 9 - The Death of Eric Cartman
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| Cartman |
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Wow, only three more hours sea-people. Only three more hours and you can take me away from this crappy, god-damn planet full of hippies.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Wow, only three more hours sea-people. Only three more hours and you can take me away from this crappy, god-damn planet full of hippies." ',246,0)) - Season 6 - Simpsons Already Did It
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| Cartman |
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You shouldn't have done that, he's just a boy, poor little fella.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "You shouldn\'t have done that, he\'s just a boy, poor little fella." ',251,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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Hmm, I can't possibly finish this whole cake, oh wait, yes I can.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Hmm, I can\'t possibly finish this whole cake, oh wait, yes I can." ',319,0)) - Season 2 - City on the Edge of Forever
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| Cartman |
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Yeah, Hanukah sucks!
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| Kyle |
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Don't you oppress me, fat boy!
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| Cartman |
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Don't call me fat! Buttf*cker!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Yeah, Hanukah sucks!" Kyle: "Don\'t you oppress me, fat boy!" Cartman: "Don\'t call me fat! Buttf*cker!" ',368,0)) |
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| Stan |
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You don't even know anything about Christianity.
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| Cartman |
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I know enough to exploit it.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p33.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Stan: "You don\'t even know anything about Christianity." Cartman: "I know enough to exploit it." ',372,0)) - Season 7 - Christian Rock Hard
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| Cartman's Mom |
Want some Cheezy Poofs honey?
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| Cartman |
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F*ck yeah, I want some god damned Cheezy Poofs!!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/logo_for_fb.png',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman\'s Mom: "Want some Cheezy Poofs honey?" Cartman: "F*ck yeah, I want some god damned Cheezy Poofs!!" ',3811,0)){kind=logo} |
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| Cartman |
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NASCAR is for poor and stupid people!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "NASCAR is for poor and stupid people!" ',4252,0)) - Season 14 - Poor and Stupid
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| Cartman |
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I just took a huge dump.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "I just took a huge dump." ',616,0)) - Season 10 - Make Love, Not Warcraft
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| Cartman |
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Fag!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Fag!" ',618,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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Aw, weak!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Aw, weak!
" ',639,0)) - Season 1 - Cartman Gets an Anal Probe
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| Cartman |
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It's my body, I do what I want!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "It\'s my body, I do what I want!" ',641,0)) Quote Entered by: |
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| Cartman |
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Whoever he is, he is one f*cking bad-ass!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Whoever he is, he is one f*cking bad-ass!
" ',650,0)) - Season 10 - Make Love, Not Warcraft
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| Cartman |
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Why does every thing need to be coming in or out of my ass today?
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Why does every thing need to be coming in or out of my ass today?" ',654,0)) - Season 1 - Cartman Gets an Anal Probe
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| Cartman |
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Aaaaaah! Stan you scared the piss out of me!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Aaaaaah! Stan you scared the piss out of me!" ',679,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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That's a bad Mr Kitty, and I smack him on the head!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "That\'s a bad Mr Kitty, and I smack him on the head!" ',733,0)) - Season 3 - Rainforest Schmainforest
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| Cartman |
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Do you know what this is? It's apple juice and it gives me super bad farts.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Do you know what this is? It\'s apple juice and it gives me super bad farts." ',734,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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I am the candy-master.
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| Stan |
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No, you're the ass-master, there is a difference.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "I am the candy-master." Stan: "No, you\'re the ass-master, there is a difference." ',741,0)) - Season 1 - Pinkeye
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| Towelie |
Don't preach to me fatso!
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| Cartman |
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Shut-up, you're a towel!
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| Towelie |
You're a towel!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/logo_for_fb.png',' ','South Park Quotes','Towelie: "Don\'t preach to me fatso!" Cartman: "Shut-up, you\'re a towel!" Towelie: "You\'re a towel!" ',750,0)){kind=logo} - Season 5 - Towelie
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| Cartman |
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No kitty! Those are my cheese poofs!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "No kitty! Those are my cheese poofs!" ',925,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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Spoog, balls, bloody, vaginal belch.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Spoog, balls, bloody, vaginal belch." ',808,0)) - Season 11 - Le Petit Tourette
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| Cartman |
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Sh*t head, butt-hole, Mexican stinky balls
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Sh*t head, butt-hole, Mexican stinky balls" ',809,0)) - Season 11 - Le Petit Tourette
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| Cartman |
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What do you call a Jewish woman's boobs... Joobs!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "What do you call a Jewish woman\'s boobs... Joobs!" ',786,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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That's right I've got a bad case of ADD no homework for me.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "That\'s right I\'ve got a bad case of ADD no homework for me." ',814,0)) - Season 4 - Timmy 2000
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| Cartman |
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Mr. Garrison you can suck my balls.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Mr. Garrison you can suck my balls." ',799,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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Guys, Mr. Garrison has a vagina!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Guys, Mr. Garrison has a vagina!" ',800,0)) - Season 9 - Mr Garrison's Fancy New Vagina
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| Cartman |
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Now I will use my powers to... Turn Kyle into a chicken!
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| Kyle |
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God-damnit, Cartman!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Now I will use my powers to... Turn Kyle into a chicken!" Kyle: "God-damnit, Cartman!" ',1009,0)) - Season 8 - Good Times with Weapons
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| Cartman |
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Ahhhhhhhh old people!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Ahhhhhhhh old people!" ',1024,0)) - Season 7 - Grey Dawn
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| Cartman |
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Here you can eat all you want for 6.99 that's why we all come here on Tuesday nights, except Kenny's family because to them 6.99 is 2 years income.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Here you can eat all you want for 6.99 that\'s why we all come here on Tuesday nights, except Kenny\'s family because to them 6.99 is 2 years income." ',1004,0)) - Season 1 - Starvin' Marvin
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| Cartman |
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Guys we should go to black barts cave first, because we'll want to go through it a million times.
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| Stan |
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No it's Kyle's birthday, we should do what ever he wants to do first.
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| Cartman |
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What f*ck Kyle?!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Guys we should go to black barts cave first, because we\'ll want to go through it a million times." Stan: "No it\'s Kyle\'s birthday, we should do what ever he wants to do first." Cartman: "What f*ck Kyle?!" ',927,0)) - Season 7 - Casa Bonita
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| Cartman |
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Make no mistake Kyle, before this day is over you will suck my balls!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Make no mistake Kyle, before this day is over you will suck my balls!" ',830,0)) - Season 11 - Imaginationland Episode 3
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| Cartman |
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I wasn't sleeping. I was just thinking really hard.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "I wasn\'t sleeping. I was just thinking really hard." ',1177,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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Beefcake!
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| Guy on TV |
Beefcake!
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| Cartman |
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Beefcake!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Beefcake!" Guy on TV: "Beefcake!" Cartman: "Beefcake!" ',926,0)) - Season 1 - Weight Gain 4000
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| Cartman |
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Well f*ck you Kyle, I hope you die, I hope you f*cking die!!!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Well f*ck you Kyle, I hope you die, I hope you f*cking die!!!" ',1107,0)) - Season 7 - Casa Bonita
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| Cartman |
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Ey! Get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Ey! Get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!" ',1020,0)) |
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| Stan |
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Cartman will you give Kyle a kidney
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| Cartman |
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No, no, no, no, no, no!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p33.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Stan: "Cartman will you give Kyle a kidney" Cartman: "No, no, no, no, no, no!" ',1007,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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Well I'm half bi.
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| Mr Garrison |
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Stop it you kids aren't gay. And Eric your not half bi!
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| Cartman |
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I might be a quarter bi. My grandpa was bi so that makes me a quarter bi!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Well I\'m half bi." Mr Garrison: "Stop it you kids aren\'t gay. And Eric your not half bi!" Cartman: "I might be a quarter bi. My grandpa was bi so that makes me a quarter bi!" ',920,0)) - Season 7 - South Park is Gay
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| Cartman |
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Benjamin Franklin?
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| Kyle |
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No dumb ass it's Kyle!
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| Cartman |
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Kyle. Get out of my flashback you f*cking jew.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Benjamin Franklin?" Kyle: "No dumb ass it\'s Kyle!" Cartman: "Kyle. Get out of my flashback you f*cking jew." ',921,0)) - Season 7 - I'm a Little Bit Country
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| Cartman |
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There is a bomb threat on south park.
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| Officer Barbrady |
Are you serious?
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| Cartman |
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If I wasn't serious would I be if if talking in a low whisper for dramatic effect?
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "There is a bomb threat on south park." Officer Barbrady: "Are you serious?" Cartman: "If I wasn\'t serious would I be if if talking in a low whisper for dramatic effect?" ',1252,0)) - Season 11 - The Snuke
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| Cartman |
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Screw you guys, I'm going home!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Screw you guys, I\'m going home!" ',888,0)) Quote Entered by: |
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| Cartman |
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I have to get detention.
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| Mr Garrison |
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Eric did you just take a crap on my desk?
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| Cartman |
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What's up what's up.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "I have to get detention." Mr Garrison: "Eric did you just take a crap on my desk?" Cartman: "What\'s up what\'s up." ',1181,0)) - Season 12 - Breast Cancer Show Ever
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| Cartman |
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It's illegal for a Jew to catch snow flakes in his mouth.
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| Kyle |
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What? No. Officer Barbrady! Is it illegal for a jew to catch snowflakes in his mouth?
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| Officer Barbrady |
Umm. Yes.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "It\'s illegal for a Jew to catch snow flakes in his mouth." Kyle: "What? No. Officer Barbrady! Is it illegal for a jew to catch snowflakes in his mouth?" Officer Barbrady: "Umm. Yes." ',896,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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I said shut up you blood belching vagina!... Did I just call myself a blood belching vagina?
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "I said shut up you blood belching vagina!... Did I just call myself a blood belching vagina?" ',1264,0)) - Season 6 - A Ladder to Heaven
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| Butters |
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Uhm fellers can I come out now all you put in here was this bucket for me to poop in. What am I supposed to eat.
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| Cartman |
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You got the bucket don't you?
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p35.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Butters: "Uhm fellers can I come out now all you put in here was this bucket for me to poop in. What am I supposed to eat." Cartman: "You got the bucket don\'t you?" ',1257,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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If you mess with the dawg, you'll end up like that splattered bitch down on the pavement.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "If you mess with the dawg, you\'ll end up like that splattered bitch down on the pavement." ',2614,0)) - Season 10 - Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy
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| Cartman |
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That movie has warped my fragile little mind.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "That movie has warped my fragile little mind." ',983,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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Lying kicks ass!!!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Lying kicks ass!!!" ',1540,0)) - Season 2 - The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka
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| Cartman |
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Cripple fight!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Cripple fight!" ',1133,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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Greetings I am Awesome-O.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Greetings I am Awesome-O." ',1199,0)) - Season 8 - AWESOM-O
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| Cartman |
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So long Justin beiber you stupid little butthole.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "So long Justin beiber you stupid little butthole." ',1200,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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Kyle you have to do this. If you want a quality friend you have to wade through all the dicks first.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Kyle you have to do this. If you want a quality friend you have to wade through all the dicks first." ',1084,0)) - Season 14 - You Have 0 Friends
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| Cartman |
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Oh wow this is so tits!
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| Cartman's Mom |
Don't say tits Eric.
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| Cartman |
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I mean wow this is so cool!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Oh wow this is so tits!" Cartman\'s Mom: "Don\'t say tits Eric." Cartman: "I mean wow this is so cool!" ',1333,0)) - Season 4 - The Tooth Fairy Tats 2000
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| Cartman |
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Mom! More hot pockets!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Mom! More hot pockets!" ',1202,0)) - Season 10 - Make Love, Not Warcraft
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| Cartman |
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I'm a little piggy heres my snout, oink oink oink, oink oink oink.
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "I\'m a little piggy heres my snout, oink oink oink, oink oink oink." ',1145,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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Mom you're not going to believe it! I put a tooth under my pillow and the tooth fairy gave me five dollars! She's only gave me a lousy quarter before!
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| Cartman's Mom |
Oh yes and I think the tooth fairy wants you to use that money to create a savings account with compounded daily interest.
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| Cartman |
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You can compound daily my ass with interest, I'm going to the toy store and buy me a skateboard!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Mom you\'re not going to believe it! I put a tooth under my pillow and the tooth fairy gave me five dollars! She\'s only gave me a lousy quarter before!" Cartman\'s Mom: "Oh yes and I think the tooth fairy wants you to use that money to create a savings account with compounded daily interest." Cartman: "You can compound daily my ass with interest, I\'m going to the toy store and buy me a skateboard!" ',1334,0)) - Season 4 - The Tooth Fairy Tats 2000
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| Cartman |
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I hate hippies!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "I hate hippies!" ',1280,0)) |
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| Kevin |
I have to ride in the middle of the boat, I get motion sickness.
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| Cartman |
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Kevin, Jesus Christ...
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/logo_for_fb.png',' ','South Park Quotes','Kevin: "I have to ride in the middle of the boat, I get motion sickness." Cartman: "Kevin, Jesus Christ..." ',1308,0)){kind=logo} - Season 13 - Fatbeard
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| Cartman |
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You know that feeling when you take a huge dump? Awesome.
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| Stan |
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Now are you alright?
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| Cartman |
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You know that feeling when the huge dump you just took shoots back up your ass? No I'm not alright!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "You know that feeling when you take a huge dump? Awesome." Stan: "Now are you alright?" Cartman: "You know that feeling when the huge dump you just took shoots back up your ass? No I\'m not alright!" ',1162,0)) |
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| Clyde |
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This is Samolia?
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| Cartman |
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Da f*ck?!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p280.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Clyde: "This is Samolia?" Cartman: "Da f*ck?!" ',1309,0)) - Season 13 - Fatbeard
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| Cartman |
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Looks like your about to get poned!
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![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Looks like your about to get poned!" ',1312,0)) - Season 10 - Make Love, Not Warcraft
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| Cartman |
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It's not potholes you need to worry about Mayor, it's the potheads.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "It\'s not potholes you need to worry about Mayor, it\'s the potheads." ',1296,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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Mexican stinky balls!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Mexican stinky balls!" ',1297,0)) - Season 11 - Le Petit Tourette
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| Kyle |
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Hey,what you doing?
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| Cartman |
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What does it look like I'm doing, I am eating my dinner?
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| Kyle |
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Oh, it looked like you where snogging a chicken!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p32.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Kyle: "Hey,what you doing?" Cartman: "What does it look like I\'m doing, I am eating my dinner?" Kyle: "Oh, it looked like you where snogging a chicken!" ',1230,0)) - Season 1 - Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride
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| Cartman |
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Poor people don't have anything better to do than piss other people off.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Poor people don\'t have anything better to do than piss other people off." ',1593,0)) - Season 6 - A Ladder to Heaven
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| Cartman |
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It puts the lotion on it's skin or else it gets the hose again!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "It puts the lotion on it\'s skin or else it gets the hose again!" ',1361,0)) - Season 6 - Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society
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| Cartman |
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Kenny an American girl's mouth is the dirtiest place you can put your penis.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Kenny an American girl\'s mouth is the dirtiest place you can put your penis." ',1236,0)) - Season 13 - The Ring
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| Cartman |
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Meeem, I know this might sound odd but go with me on this one... Meeem, can you take me to sign up for the special olympics so I can beat all the handicap kids and win a thousand dollars?
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Meeem, I know this might sound odd but go with me on this one... Meeem, can you take me to sign up for the special olympics so I can beat all the handicap kids and win a thousand dollars?" ',1317,0)) - Season 8 - Up the Down Steriod
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| Cartman |
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I didn't get a anal prob!
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| Kyle |
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Dude yes you did!
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| Cartman |
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Screw you guys I'm going home!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "I didn\'t get a anal prob!" Kyle: "Dude yes you did!" Cartman: "Screw you guys I\'m going home!" ',1318,0)) - Season 1 - Cartman Gets an Anal Probe
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| Cartman |
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F*ck, f*ckity, f*ck f*ck f*ck!
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| Mr Garrison |
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How would you like to go see the school counsellor?
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| Cartman |
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How would you like to suck my balls?
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "F*ck, f*ckity, f*ck f*ck f*ck!" Mr Garrison: "How would you like to go see the school counsellor?" Cartman: "How would you like to suck my balls?" ',1250,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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Mmm! The tears of unfathomable sadness! They taste so good and sweet!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Mmm! The tears of unfathomable sadness! They taste so good and sweet!" ',1251,0)) - Season 5 - Scott Tenorman Must Die
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| Butters |
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Cartman quick an army of Jewish robots are taking over the town!
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| Cartman |
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Jew bots, what are they doing here?
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p35.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Butters: "Cartman quick an army of Jewish robots are taking over the town!" Cartman: "Jew bots, what are they doing here?" ',1457,0)) |
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| Kyle |
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No! You can't give Ike a circumcision! Don't you know how important men's firemen are to them?
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| Cartman |
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Oh yes. The fireman is very magical. If you rub it's helmet, he spits in your eye!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p32.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Kyle: "No! You can\'t give Ike a circumcision! Don\'t you know how important men\'s firemen are to them?" Cartman: "Oh yes. The fireman is very magical. If you rub it\'s helmet, he spits in your eye!" ',1323,0)) - Season 2 - Ike's Wee Wee
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| Cartman |
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Well where the hell am I supposed to go!? I can't go to Kenny's house, I mean his family's freakin' poor!..... Ok fine I guess I'll just have to crash with you Kenny.
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| Kenny |
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F*ck you.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Well where the hell am I supposed to go!? I can\'t go to Kenny\'s house, I mean his family\'s freakin\' poor!..... Ok fine I guess I\'ll just have to crash with you Kenny." Kenny: "F*ck you." ',1324,0)) - Season 10 - Tsst
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| Stan |
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Cartman you suck at playing Americans vs Bosnians! From now on if you want to play, you can just play with yourself!
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| Cartman |
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That's fine! I like playing with myself! I'll play with myself all day long!!
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| Kenny |
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Ahahaha!!!!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p33.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Stan: "Cartman you suck at playing Americans vs Bosnians! From now on if you want to play, you can just play with yourself!" Cartman: "That\'s fine! I like playing with myself! I\'ll play with myself all day long!!" Kenny: "Ahahaha!!!!" ',1331,0)) - Season 2 - Clubhouses
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| Cartman |
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Oh my God, this is Baghdad? Wow what a sh*t-hole!.. I mean wow look at all those poor, unfortunate people!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Oh my God, this is Baghdad? Wow what a sh*t-hole!.. I mean wow look at all those poor, unfortunate people!" ',1327,0)) - Season 6 - Red Sleigh Down
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| Cartman |
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F*ck you hippies!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "F*ck you hippies!" ',1566,0)) |
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| Cartman |
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Kyle, now suck my balls!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Kyle, now suck my balls!" ',1588,0)) - Season 11 - Imaginationland Episode 1
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| Cartman |
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Race war!
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Race war!" ',1546,0)) - Season 11 - With Apologies to Jesse Jackson
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| Cartman |
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Me and Kenny don't give two sh*ts about stupid ass whales.
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Comments |
![Publish to Facebook Wall](javascript:publish_feed('http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/quotes/south-park/','http://www.showmefunny.co.uk/images/actors/p31.jpg',' ','South Park Quotes','Cartman: "Me and Kenny don\'t give two sh*ts about stupid ass whales." ',1514,0)) - Season 13 - | |