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Eastbound and Down Quotes
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| Kenny |
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If there's one thing that I hate it's losing, if there's two things I hate, it's losing and getting cancer.
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- Season 1 - Chapter 3
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| Ashley |
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If you happen to be a man, Ashley over there will suck your dick.
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| Kenny |
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I like how you work.
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| Ashley |
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If you happen to be a woman, Scott will finger you with his penis.
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- Season 1 - Chapter 2
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| Kenny |
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I’m just a man with a mind for victory and an arm like a f*cking cannon.
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- Season 1 - Chapter 1
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| Kenny |
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Can I wear the scream mask, the mask from scream… While I do you from behind?
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- Season 1 - Chapter 1
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| Kenny |
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You know, that’s how the plague started, back in the day. It was from a little disgusting birdbath in someone’s backyard, rats made sex to birds in it and created a whole new type of AIDS.
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- Season 1 - Chapter 2
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| Kenny |
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You’re f*cking out!
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- Season 1 - Chapter 1
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| Kenny |
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I’m a built-proof tiger man.
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- Season 1 - Chapter 1
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| Ashley |
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You knocked his f*cking eye out!
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- Season 1 - Chapter 5
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| Kenny |
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Everyone wanted a piece of my sh*t.
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- Season 1 - Chapter 1
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| Kid |
My Dad said that you ruined baseball.
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| Kenny |
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You know what? I can already tell that I don’t like you. And I’m probably not gonna like you, no matter how many pull-ups or pushups you do.
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- Season 1 - Chapter 1
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| Kenny |
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I can't do this Dustin, I'm about to have a f*cking panic attack. I need four Xanax and two Miller Lites.
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- Season 1 - Chapter 5
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| Kenny |
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Who the f*ck are you?
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| Pat |
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I'm your dad. Just kidding, your dad is dead.
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- Season 1 - Chapter 6
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| Pat |
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Are you ready to get down with this party?
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| Kenny |
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I'm ready to butt-f*ck this party.
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- Season 1 - Chapter 6
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Eastbound and Down Characters
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If there's one thing that I hate it's losing, if there's two things I hate, it's losing and getting cancer.
























