Dwight Schrute Quotes

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Played by: Rainn Wilson

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Dwight		One word, two syllibles: Demarkation!
Comments		- Season 1 - Pilot


Dwight		Clear out stat! Stat means now!
Comments		- Season 2 - The Fire


Michael		What's the difference between a salesman and a saleswoman?
Dwight		A saleswoman has a vagina.
Comments		- Season 2 - Dwights Speech



Creed		A man can go on living for minutes after his head has been removed.
Dwight		You’re thinking of a chicken.
Creed		What did I say?
Comments		- Season 3 - Grief Counseling


Dwight		As of this morning we are completely wireless at Shrute Farms... As soon as I find out where Mose hid all of the wires, we'll get that power back on.
Comments		- Season 4 - Money


Michael		Does anyone have any idea what the number one cause of death is in this country?
Dwight		Shotgun weddings!
Jim		That's not what that is.
Comments		- Season 5 - Weight Loss



Dwight		Baby's are one of my many areas of expertise, growing up I performed my own circumcision.
Comments		- Season 5 - Baby Shower


Dwight		I train my major blood vessels to retract into my body on command... also I can retract my penis up into itself.
Comments		- Season 5 - Blood Drive


Michael		Does anyone have any idea what the number one cause of death is in this country?
Dwight		Shot-gun weddings.
Comments		- Season 5 - Weight Loss



Bob Vance		Mind if I steal my wife?
Dwight		You cannot steal what is legally your property.
Comments		- Season 5 - Cafe Disco


Dwight		Every weekend I volunteer at the local animal shelter, and they need a lot of help down there. Last Sunday I had to put down over 150 pets all by myself.
Comments		- Season 6 - The Lover