Brian Griffin Quotes

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Brian		I saw a penis on the internet today and I thought to myself, well that's just fine.
Comments		Quote Entered by: Michael Saddler - Season 5 - Barely Legal


Brian		You're drunk.
Stewie		And you're sexy.
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Brian		Peter you can't put kerosene in an energy drink it'll kill you!
Peter		Brian, whatever kills me makes me stronger.
Comments		- Season 9 - New Kidney in Town



Stewie		What if I hold the gun sideways like this?!
Brian		Woh, man there's no need for any trouble.
Stewie		Well if you don't want any trouble then just eat my poo Brian!
Comments		Quote Entered by: Tianna Van Cura


Brian		How do you not know about trick or treating?
Stewie		How do you not know that your reflection in the patio door isn't another dog?
Brian		Hey! That guy is a dick!
Comments		- Season 9 - Halloween on Spooner Street


Peter		Suzzie babadaboopi!
Brian		Peter you can't speak Italian just 'cause of your moustache.
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Quagmire		Who would you have sex with Brian or meg?
Peter		Ohhh I would defo choose brian Meg is ugly.
Brian		What the f*ck?
Comments		- Season 2 - Wasted Talent


Stewie		Who sings that song?
Brian		James Taylor.
Stewie		Yeah, let's keep it that way.
Comments		- Season 5 - Road to Rupert


Stewie		Look at my muscles bitch!!
Brian		That's not muscle that's just fat!!
Comments		- Season 7 - Stew-Roids



Peter		Hmmm that's interesting, there seems to be a certain segment missing in here, an ornithological piece a mass awareness regarding a certain avian variety.
Brian		What are you talking about Peter?
Peter		Oh have you not heard it was my understanding that everyone had heard... a well a bird bird bird b-birds the word!
Comments		- Season 7 - I Dream of Jesus


Brian		Peter do you listen to yourself?
Peter		Yeah, I drift in and out.
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Stewie		It needs cool-whhhip
Brian		Why put so much enthuses on the h?
Stewie		What are you talking about?
Comments		- Season 2 - Holy Crap


Jillian		Brian how do I know if I'm Jewish?
Brian		Are you Jewish?
Jillian		No.
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Stewie		You know who also works here?
Brian		Who?
Stewie		F*ck you! That's who!
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Quagmire		Er Brian how would you feel if Dylan was in a fire?
Brian		Oh my god, I don't even want to think about that, oh my god.
Comments		- Season 6 - The Former Life of Brian


Stewie		And I like that singer who looks like a whore.
Brian		Ricky Martin?
Stewie		Love 'im.
Comments		- Season 3 - Road to Europe


Brian		Hey Peter just came to check on- oh my god!
Peter		Guv'ment came and took my baby!
Comments		Quote Entered by: Mikey Dollinger


Brian		Who's leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini round here?
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Jillian		Cool! Rock on Brian!
Brian		Ok, done.
Comments		- Season 6 - Movin' Out (Brian's Song)


Peter		Oh my god Brian, there's a message in my Alphabites, it says 'oooooo'.
Brian		Peter, those are Cheerios.
Comments		Quote Entered by: James Dylan Bassil - Season 1 - The Son Also Draws


Brian		Hey, hey, Lois, there's another dog in that car. Do you see that. Hey, hey, hey. Other dog! F*ck you!
Comments		- Season 5 - It Takes a Village Idiot, I Married One


Brian		Gosh I'd like to help you Peter, but I have to go out to the hall and chew on my back of my ass for 5 minutes.
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Brian		I hate to say I told you so but...Yeah! In your fcking face, fckwad!.. I'm Sorry.
Comments		- Season 4 - Petarded


Brian		Peter what are you doing?
Peter		Crack.
Brian		What the f*ck?!
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Peter		You smell that chicken?
Brian		All I smell is your ass.
Comments		- Season 2 - Holy Crap


Stewie		Where's my money man?
Brian		I'll get it.
Stewie		You better.
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Meg		Just some apples, cinnamon... my hair.
Brian		What?
Meg		My hair is in the pie Brian, part of me is inside of you. Do you feel me inside you?
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Brian		Peter you have a gravitational pull.
Comments		- Season 2 - He's too Sexy for his Fat


Stewie		Hey Brian you want some stewie jerky.
Brian		Ew gross what the he'll is that?
Stewie		I'm finally starting to peel.
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Brian		Huh, so that's what Peter's penis looks like.
Comments		Quote Entered by: Michael Saddler - Season 2 - Fifteen Minutes of Shame


Brian		Peter, you should really slow down, you've already had like 30 hamburgers.
Peter		Shut up Brian, I'm relieving my pain of mustache-less-ness.
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Brian		Chris, this is my son.
Chris		Hi.
Brian's Son		Everything in this room is mine now.
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Stewie		Hey, hey, Brian do you know what I would do to that guy right now?
Brian		Urgh what Stewie?
Stewie		I'd freakin drop his ass!
Comments		Quote Entered by: Tianna Van Cura


Fat Guy		Hey Brian, smell my finger.
Brian		I... I already can.
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Stewie		Take your index finger and your thumb and gently rub them down your tail.
Brian		Why would you want me to do that?
Stewie		It's just a little something I want you to do.
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Brian		Come on meg let's go and get you a big old pretzel.
Stewie		I wanna pretzel!
Comments		Quote Entered by: Erin Durrant


Brian		Hey Quagmire. I f*cked your Dad.
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Brian		Doing a bit of shaving there?
Stewie		Ah, yeah, got a question for you, would you shave my coin purse?
Brian		Oh no. No no no, oh God!
Comments		Quote Entered by: Kelly Hawker


Brian		What's Jillian and Derek doing here!?
Jillian		I got an invitation in my hoe-ner.
Derek		You mean honour, honey.
Comments		Quote Entered by: Michael Mendoza


Pink Panther		First day being pink?
Brian		Yeah.
Pink Panther		Welcome to hell.
Comments		Quote Entered by: Ryan Kenny


Brian		You got me a candle I could go out a get a candle now.
Stewie		Hey I did have to get you anything.
Brian		It's almost like you didn't.
Comments		Quote Entered by: Lauren Mackett - Season 9 - The Big Bang Theory


Brian		That is the worst thing I have ever seen, ever and I've seen Peter when he's frozen in sex face.
Comments		Quote Entered by: Mike Kessinger


Lois		How about we just order room service and watch a couple of bad movies?
Brian		Yeah, that does sound like fun. I'll go rent Vanilla Sky.
Lois		I said a bad movie, not an abortion.
Comments		- Season 6 - Play it Again, Brian


Stewie		I am so bored! Hey dog, once your done applying your lipstick would you take me to the park?
Brian		What? My lipstick? Oh! Haha, you mean because of my penis, right, yes, that's fantastic.
Comments		- Season 4 - The Courtship of Stewie's Father


Stewie		I love you.
Brian		What?!
Stewie		Nothing I just said olive juice Brian. Olive juice.
Comments		Quote Entered by: Lorna Palin


Jillian		Ok so the show starts at 8 o'clock specific time.
Brian		You mean 8 o'clock pacific time.
Jillian		No, because I think they mean it starts specifically at 8?
Comments		Quote Entered by: Chandler Metzler


Brian		Yeah about this pamphlet I don't see any German history between 1939 and 1945.
German Tour Guide		Everyone was on vacation!
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