Andy Bernard Quotes

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Played by: Ed Helms

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Andy		I am now chopping off Philis' head with a chainsaw... ring-ding-ding-ding!
Comments		- Season 3 - Back From Vacation


Andy		I've been trying to lose weight for the wedding, because I really want to have wash-board abs the first time Angela sees me naked.
Comments		- Season 5 - Weight Loss


Andy		Andy Bernard does not lose contests, he wins them... Or he quits them because they are unfair.
Comments		- Season 5 - Weight Loss



Andy		I took a crap load of women's studies courses at Cornell. And I wrote my own companion piece to The Vagina Monologues, called The Penis Apologies.
Comments		- Season 7 - The Inner Circle


Andy		I hate making cold calls, it's like trying to sleep with someone you've only been seeing for a month... It's impossible.
Comments		- Season 6 - The Promotion