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Will Ferrell Quotes
| Buy at | ![]() |
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Movies:
Talladega Nights Step Brothers Anchorman The Other Guys Zoolander Austin Powers Wedding Crashers Old School Semi-Pro Blades of Glory Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back Elf Kicking and Screaming Land of the LostTV Show:
Eastbound and Down The Office (US)Eastbound and Down |
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| Ashley |
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If you happen to be a man, Ashley over there will suck your dick.
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| Kenny |
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I like how you work.
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| Ashley |
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If you happen to be a woman, Scott will finger you with his penis.
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- Season 1 - Chapter 2
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Talladega Nights |
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| Ricky Bobby |
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I'm Ricky Bobby and if you don't chew BigRed the f**k you!
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Eastbound and Down |
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| Ashley |
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You knocked his f*cking eye out!
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- Season 1 - Chapter 5
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Talladega Nights |
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| Ricky Bobby |
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The room is starting to spin real fast, because of the gayness.
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Step Brothers |
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| Brennan |
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You had better not go to sleep, as soon as your eyes are shut I'm going to punch you square in the face.
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| Dale |
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I hope you stay still when you sleep, because I'm putting a rat trap between your legs.
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| Brennan |
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I'm going to get a pillow case, fill it with bars of soap and beat the s**t out of you.
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Step Brothers |
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| Brennan |
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I tea-bagged your drum set!
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| Dale |
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My drum set's a dude, so that makes you gay you f**ker!
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Step Brothers |
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| Brennan |
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You've got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags.
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| Dale |
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Yeah, I've got them from the 70s, 80s and 90s. It's like masturbating in a time machine.
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Talladega Nights |
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| Ricky Bobby |
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With all due respect, that ain't worth a velvet painting of a whale and a dolphin getting it on.
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Talladega Nights |
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| Ricky Bobby |
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Shake and Bake!
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Talladega Nights |
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| Ricky Bobby |
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Hey I'm Ricky Bobby
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| Cal |
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And I'm Cal Naughten Jr.
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| Ricky Bobby |
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Urging you never travel to Teuwana
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Talladega Nights |
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| Ricky Bobby |
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Let me quote the late, great Colnel Saunders who said "I'm too drunk to taste this chicken".
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Anchorman |
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| Ron |
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By the beard of Zeus!
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Step Brothers |
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| Brennan |
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I feel like a lightening bolt hit the tip of my penis.
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Anchorman |
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| Ron |
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Stay classy San-Diego.
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Anchorman |
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| Ron |
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Discovered by the Germans. They called it San Diego, which of course means whales vagina.
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Anchorman |
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| Ron |
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You are a smelly pirate hooker!
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Step Brothers |
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| Brennan |
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This house is a f**king prison!
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| Dale |
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On planet bulls**t!
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| Brennan |
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In the galaxy of this sucks camel dicks!
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Anchorman |
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| Ron |
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I'm very arroused!
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Talladega Nights |
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| Ricky Bobby |
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Absolutely ma'am, I'd love to sign your baby.
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Step Brothers |
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| Brennan |
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I'm Brennan
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| Dale |
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I'm Dale, but you have to call me Dragon
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| Brennan |
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You have to call me Night Hawk
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Step Brothers |
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| Brennan |
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Hey Derek, you know what's always good for shoulder pain? ...if you lick my butt hole!
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Anchorman |
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| Ron |
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I want to be on you!
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Step Brothers |
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| Brennan |
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Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I'm gonna kick you repeatedly in the balls Gardocki!
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Wedding Crashers |
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| Chazz |
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I almost numbchucked you, you don't even realize.
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Semi-Pro |
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| Jackie |
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I'm Jackie Moon, I take care of you guys, right? I mean, you can just think of me as Bambi's mother. I make sure nothing bad'll happen to you.
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| Twiggy |
Bambi's mother got shot, right?
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| Bee Bee |
Yeah, first scene.
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Talladega Nights |
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| Ricky Bobby |
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Lucious I just wanted to share a little piece of personal information with you, I have a cubby! because this is the one the most awesome experiences of my life, as I'm getting to drive a race car, whoo hoo!
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Talladega Nights |
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| Ricky Bobby |
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I'm not sure what to do with my hands.
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Talladega Nights |
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| Ricky Bobby |
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Hey I'm Ricky Bobby, Christmas is just a round the corner, what better gift to give a loved one than the Jack Hawk 9000, available at Wallmart.
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Talladega Nights |
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| Ricky Bobby |
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When you work on your mesterious lady parts you should have the right tools too, thats why you should have Maypax, the office tampon of Nascar.
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Talladega Nights |
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| Ricky Bobby |
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You let go off me! you Formula One jazz nut job!
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Talladega Nights |
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| Ricky Bobby |
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Tom Cruise use your witch craft to put the fire out!
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Step Brothers |
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| Brennan |
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Robert had better not get in my face, cos I'll drop that mother f**ker!
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Step Brothers |
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| Brennan |
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Thats funny... I remember when I had my first beer.
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Step Brothers |
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| Brennan |
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I'll kill you, Leonard Nimoy! (while asleep)
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| Dale |
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The clown has no penis! (while asleep)
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| Nancy |
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What kinda dreams do you guys have?
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Step Brothers |
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| Brennan |
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Can you wash your clothes in a dishwasher?
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Step Brothers |
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| Brennan |
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I've been earning and burning, snapping necks and cashing cheques.
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Anchorman |
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| Ron |
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Hey, everyone! Come and see how good I look.
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Anchorman |
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| Ron |
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I don't know how to put this, but I'm kinda a big deal round here.
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Anchorman |
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| Ron |
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Just watch out for the guns, they'll get you.
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Anchorman |
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| Ron |
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I have little time, so I have to sculpt my guns at the office.
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Anchorman |
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| Ron |
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Don't act like you're not impressed... I have a little situation here that I'm trying to walk off.
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Anchorman |
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| Ron |
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I'm Ron Burgundy?
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Anchorman |
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| Ron |
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I'm in a glass case of emotion.
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Anchorman |
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| Ron |
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Brick, where did you get a handgranade?
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| Brick |
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I don't know.
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Anchorman |
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| Ron |
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Last time I looked in the dictionary my was Ron Burgundy.
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Comments |
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Anchorman |
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| Ron |
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And I'm Ron Burgundy, go f*ck yourself San Diego.
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Zoolander |
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| Jacobim |
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I'm a hot little potato right now.
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Comments |
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Austin Powers |
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| Mustafa |
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I'm still alive, only I'm very badly burned.
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Comments |
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Austin Powers |
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| Mustafa |
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You shot me... You shot me right in the eye!
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Old School |
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| Frank |
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Frank the tank!
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Old School |
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| Frank |
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We're going streaking, yeah!
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Old School |
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| Frank |
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Rip his head off! Rip his head off!
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Old School |
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| Frank |
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Hey, Blue are you sure you're ok with this?
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| Blue |
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Just ring the f*cking bell, you pansey.
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Comments |
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Semi-Pro |
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| Jackie |
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Everyone can eat sh*t, a big bag of sh*t, I'm the greatest man in the world.
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Comments |
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Semi-Pro |
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| Jackie |
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Dissolve? What's dissolve? Is that even a word?
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Quote Entered by: |
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Semi-Pro |
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| Jackie |
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There's nothing in the rule book that says you can't play drunk.
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| Dick |
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No, actually there is.
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Semi-Pro |
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| Jackie |
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It feels like I've got cat piss in my eyes.
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Comments |
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Blades of Glory |
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| Chazz |
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I was on Quaaludes. I don't even remember Oslo.
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Comments |
Quote Entered by: |
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Blades of Glory |
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| Chazz |
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Troubled childhood? If you call a nine-year-old kid with a 35 year-old girlfriend troubled.
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Comments |
Quote Entered by: |
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Blades of Glory |
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| Chazz |
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I hope you've brought your silver polish MacElroy, that was gold.
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Comments |
Quote Entered by: |
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Blades of Glory |
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| Chazz |
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Hey, Nancy Kerrigan. You an official here? 'Cause you've officially given me a boner.
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Quote Entered by: |
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Blades of Glory |
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| Chazz |
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I'm a sex addict. It's a real disease, with doctors and medicine and everything.
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Comments |
Quote Entered by: |
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Blades of Glory |
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| Chazz |
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Mind bottling, isn't it?
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| Jimmy |
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Did you just say mind bottling?
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| Chazz |
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Yeah, mind bottling. You know, when things are so crazy, it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle.
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Quote Entered by: |
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Blades of Glory |
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| Chazz |
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The night is a very dark time for me.
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| Jimmy |
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It's dark for everyone, moron.
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| Chazz |
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Not for Alaskans or dudes with night vision goggles.
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Quote Entered by: |
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Blades of Glory |
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| Chazz |
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All right, Mr Smart Reporter, showing off. You figured out how to work the Google on the Internet machine.
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Comments |
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Blades of Glory |
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| Chazz |
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Hey, turd-face, guess what? I've taken every single one of your teddy bears, and I've stuffed them down my pants.
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Comments |
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Blades of Glory |
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| Chazz |
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For about a month, my urine smelled like marshmallows.
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Comments |
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Anchorman |
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| Ron |
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Milk was a bad choice!
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Comments |
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Semi-Pro |
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| Jackie |
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Somebody hit somebody!
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Comments |
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Land of the Lost |
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| Rick |
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Captain Kirk's nipples!
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Comments |
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Land of the Lost |
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| Rick |
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Fascinating, but terrifying!
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Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back |
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| Willenholly |
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Citizens of Utah stimulation of the CLIT is not recommended.
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Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back |
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| Willenholly |
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F*ck beans!
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Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back |
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| Willenholly |
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Fire a warning shot into his bulbous ass.
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Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back |
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| Willenholly |
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The CLIT's real, it's the female orgasm, that's the myth.
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Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back |
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| Willenholly |
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Hey stop stealing monkeys.
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| Jay |
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F*ck you.
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| Willenholly |
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Fair enough.
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Land of the Lost |
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| Rick |
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Great form everyone!
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Semi-Pro |
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| Jackie |
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I'm so happy, I can't feel my arms!
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Semi-Pro |
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| Jackie |
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Did you lose weight, Father Pat?
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| Pat |
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F*ck off Jackie.
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Semi-Pro |
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| Jackie |
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Everybody panic! It's just like the Titanic, but it's full of bears!
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Copyright © 2010 Show Me Funny


If you happen to be a man, Ashley over there will suck your dick.

























